About sebonfire20 : I'm a boss
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Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17426) - you deserved it (1859)
On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5473) - you deserved it (13955)
On 09/09/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, I got a lecture about being lazy and not being active enough for my age, which ended with, "When I was your age, I was out every night having sex with anything that breathed." Thanks Gran. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18969) - you deserved it (2259)
On 06/06/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by BrianTheLion89 - United States
Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20934) - you deserved it (1982)
On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was at a concert and a man came up behind and started to grind me. I pushed him away. He came back and pissed on my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23375) - you deserved it (2778)
On 03/20/2012 at 6:27pm - misc - by Laura - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)
Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24767) - you deserved it (2536)
On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States
Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30875) - you deserved it (2412)
On 08/29/2011 at 4:33am - health - by SoupCanoe - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24462) - you deserved it (6256)
On 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm - kids - by cjay2200 - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)
Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. By a fish hook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25038) - you deserved it (3504)
On 08/02/2011 at 10:52am - health - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18853) - you deserved it (60489)
On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States
Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35917) - you deserved it (2489)
On 07/29/2011 at 11:18am - work - by crazygirl12 - United States (Missouri)
Today, a drunk crashed a truck into my porch. Shaken up, I was glad to see that so many of my neighbors had gathered around to comfort me. When the dust settled, I noticed my remaining porch furniture was missing. They weren't consoling me, they were casing the place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24170) - you deserved it (1897)
On 07/25/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by ypsitucky (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out that I have a warrant for my arrest, because I was fishing without a fishing license. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15582) - you deserved it (20162)
On 07/25/2011 at 1:43am - misc - by handyman13 - United States
Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30737) - you deserved it (2314)
On 07/25/2011 at 12:14am - health - by sisi9999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28218) - you deserved it (6472)
On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Monday 17 June 2013
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