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sebonfire20

Offline (the 11/11/2014 at 3:07am) | Search for a member

sebonfire20

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 105
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About sebonfire20 : I'm a boss

sebonfire20's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of sebonfire20's badges

sebonfire20's favorite FMLs

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

#20866525
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23131) - you deserved it (36610)

On 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by ugh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

#20781742
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58502) - you deserved it (12247)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24051) - you deserved it (2795)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML

#20064184
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7355) - you deserved it (21547)

On 09/09/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I got a lecture about being lazy and not being active enough for my age, which ended with, "When I was your age, I was out every night having sex with anything that breathed." Thanks Gran. FML

#19745357
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25889) - you deserved it (3225)

On 06/06/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by BrianTheLion89 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

#19734981
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27045) - you deserved it (2838)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at a concert and a man came up behind and started to grind me. I pushed him away. He came back and pissed on my leg. FML

#19315463
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28146) - you deserved it (3210)

On 03/20/2012 at 6:27pm - misc - by Laura - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30336) - you deserved it (3418)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML

#17610443
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36973) - you deserved it (3371)

On 08/29/2011 at 4:33am - health - by SoupCanoe - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML

#17606704
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30651) - you deserved it (8698)

On 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm - kids - by cjay2200 - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. By a fish hook. FML

#17342514
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30291) - you deserved it (4619)

On 08/02/2011 at 10:52am - health - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML

#17342308
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21753) - you deserved it (66281)

On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States

Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML

#17297056
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42690) - you deserved it (3340)

On 07/29/2011 at 11:18am - work - by crazygirl12 - United States (Missouri)

Today, a drunk crashed a truck into my porch. Shaken up, I was glad to see that so many of my neighbors had gathered around to comfort me. When the dust settled, I noticed my remaining porch furniture was missing. They weren't consoling me, they were casing the place. FML

#17259270
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29305) - you deserved it (2594)

On 07/25/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by ypsitucky (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that I have a warrant for my arrest, because I was fishing without a fishing license. FML

#17249343
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18745) - you deserved it (29274)

On 07/25/2011 at 1:43am - misc - by handyman13 - United States



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