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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I learned that walking on the sidewalk does not mean that you will not be hit by a car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71621) - you deserved it (3336)
On 07/16/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19759) - you deserved it (85295)
On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23797) - you deserved it (247716)
On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to "cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair". FML
I agree, your life sucks (56528) - you deserved it (5098)
On 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my wife and I watched a documentary film about a kid living with severe asthma. In one scene, the kid has a severe asthma attack, and is rushed to hospital. My wife started laughing hysterically at this and after apologising, goes "it's just he sounded exactly like you in bed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57251) - you deserved it (5717)
On 05/26/2009 at 4:24am - intimacy - by Weezylover (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18442) - you deserved it (45409)
On 05/12/2009 at 7:09am - misc - by Rech (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, in math class we were learning about gravity. To demonstrate my teacher asked me to stand on the desk and then step off. Upon stepping on the desk it curved inward and cracked. Everyone was dying of laughter. Fuck gravity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60528) - you deserved it (8249)
On 05/02/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by systeminitiated (man) - Canada
Today, I was eating at Applebees at a high table with bar stools. I was reaching over to get some gum out of mom's purse when my chair flipped out from under me and my soda fell on top of me and got in my ear. To make things worse, the waiter ran over and shouted "I give that one a 10!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37689) - you deserved it (7193)
On 04/28/2009 at 9:39pm - misc - by kate (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83736) - you deserved it (23711)
On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML
I agree, your life sucks (61978) - you deserved it (8644)
On 03/21/2009 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML
I agree, your life sucks (116532) - you deserved it (11518)
On 03/20/2009 at 2:11am - intimacy - by firsttimer69 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, after work I went to the parking lot to my car to go home. I found my car doors heavily scratched and all my tires cut, with a note on my windshield. The note read, "F*** you, Jackson." I'm Tyler. Jackson is my co-worker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (149130) - you deserved it (5771)
On 03/16/2009 at 11:17pm - work - by Dansonn (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went on my porch for a late night cigarette. When I opened the door and took one step inside, all I remember is a big thud. I woke up 5 minutes later with my Father over top of me saying "nice right hook, huh?" Then he chuckled. He thought I was a burgler and he knocked me out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46270) - you deserved it (7148)
On 03/11/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Noname - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend gave me a card for my birthday and told me to open it 10 minutes after he'd gone; I waited for 5. In the card was written, "It's not working out, but here's $20." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53380) - you deserved it (2605)
On 02/15/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by blah (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML
I agree, your life sucks (69267) - you deserved it (20134)
On 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by peacock_mina19 - United States (Michigan)
Monday 17 June 2013
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