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scrrwd

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scrrwd

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  • Number of visits : 330
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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scrrwd's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML

#20187746
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20486) - you deserved it (1784)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:05am - misc - by Sam - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had dinner with my grandparents. At the table, my grandfather openly complained about how hard it is for him to get out of their hot tub. Not because of his prosthetic leg, but because his balls somehow "get stuck". I really didn't need to know that. FML

#20159093
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16809) - you deserved it (1293)

On 11/11/2012 at 3:27pm - misc - by Miki13 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

#20154996
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12813) - you deserved it (22711)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by shit.... (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML

#20139053
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8411) - you deserved it (12658)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:39pm - misc - by IndianAngel96 - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML

#20130407
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20934) - you deserved it (2367)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by SFra - United States

Today, my dog overturned and ate my trash, leaving coffee grounds and dog puke all over my floor. She also ate the broom. FML

#20111523
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16871) - you deserved it (2328)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:08am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a text message from my boss that read, "You've been very bad. Severe punishment is in order." I'm not sure whether I should be turned on or terrified. FML

#20110308
153 comments

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except when he did he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML

#20089963
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15021) - you deserved it (2345)

On 09/26/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by wickedbeauty333 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37954) - you deserved it (2947)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realized how much it sucks to have the same name as my dad when I overheard my mom moan his name in bed. FML

#20062873
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33560) - you deserved it (1730)

On 09/08/2012 at 7:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

#20044244
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21584) - you deserved it (2828)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:57am - love - by kvdfan (woman) - United States

Today, after having recently moved into shared accommodations, my prankster of a room-mate has somehow made sure I've yet again woken up with a tampon in my mouth. It's been three times in the past week. FML

#20036157
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17728) - you deserved it (1697)

On 08/22/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by idontbleedfromthere (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a stranger came up to me with a flirty smile, greeted me by my name, and asked if I remembered him. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember, so I asked him to tell me. He promptly left with a disappointed look. He was the most gorgeous person I've ever seen. FML

#20031656
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30404) - you deserved it (6819)

On 08/20/2012 at 9:25am - misc - by Maria (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I realized why my sister refuses to let me clean her side of the room. She's secretly been trying to revive dead ants. FML

#20023605
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19343) - you deserved it (1338)

On 08/16/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by scarredforlife - United States (Maryland)

Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML

#19999762
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24402) - you deserved it (1852)

On 08/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by SingleAgain (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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