Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

scrrwd

Offline (the 12/15/2014 at 7:28am) | Search for a member

scrrwd

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 624
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

scrrwd's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

scrrwd's favorite FMLs

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

#20426492
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51423) - you deserved it (7016)

On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

#20406767
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30109) - you deserved it (3656)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:16am - health - by Igor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML

#20402473
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28180) - you deserved it (3499)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML

#20187746
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22042) - you deserved it (1907)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:05am - misc - by Sam - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had dinner with my grandparents. At the table, my grandfather openly complained about how hard it is for him to get out of their hot tub. Not because of his prosthetic leg, but because his balls somehow "get stuck". I really didn't need to know that. FML

#20159093
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17084) - you deserved it (1315)

On 11/11/2012 at 3:27pm - misc - by Miki13 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

#20154996
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16416) - you deserved it (26997)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by shit.... (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML

#20139053
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9251) - you deserved it (14232)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:39pm - misc - by IndianAngel96 - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML

#20130407
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23452) - you deserved it (2597)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by SFra - United States

Today, my dog overturned and ate my trash, leaving coffee grounds and dog puke all over my floor. She also ate the broom. FML

#20111523
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17758) - you deserved it (2410)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:08am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a text message from my boss that read, "You've been very bad. Severe punishment is in order." I'm not sure whether I should be turned on or terrified. FML

#20110308
153 comments

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except when he did he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML

#20089963
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22006) - you deserved it (3549)

On 09/26/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by wickedbeauty333 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44671) - you deserved it (3896)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realized how much it sucks to have the same name as my dad when I overheard my mom moan his name in bed. FML

#20062873
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40040) - you deserved it (2175)

On 09/08/2012 at 7:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

#20044244
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23392) - you deserved it (3018)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:57am - love - by kvdfan (woman) - United States

Today, after having recently moved into shared accommodations, my prankster of a room-mate has somehow made sure I've yet again woken up with a tampon in my mouth. It's been three times in the past week. FML

#20036157
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18145) - you deserved it (1735)

On 08/22/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by idontbleedfromthere (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: