Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

scrrewd

Search for a member

scrrewd

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 69
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

scrrewd's page activity

Visits<b>Covenant74</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 10:21pm

scrrewd's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

scrrewd's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55045) - you deserved it (4421) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML

#19966963
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25493) - you deserved it (4719)

On 07/21/2012 at 3:40am - intimacy - by Lucy - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML

#18456086
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31370) - you deserved it (4470)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by journey_Jeanne - United States (California)

Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML

#17671695
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24980) - you deserved it (9242)

On 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm - animals - by anonomys (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML

#15678976
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33887) - you deserved it (13025)

On 04/07/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

#13269256
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26195) - you deserved it (3913)

On 09/30/2010 at 9:55pm - love - by dontask (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I decided to try whitening my teeth for the first time. I applied the strips to my teeth and decided to lay down and wait for the thirty required minutes to pass. I accidentally fell asleep and woke up three hours later. My teeth are still in excruciating pain and are covered in white streaks. FML

#6841945
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9087) - you deserved it (29227)

On 12/20/2009 at 2:52am - health - by nikko blue - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML

#3648052
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24721) - you deserved it (65654)

On 07/10/2009 at 7:18pm - love - by failhusband (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML

#598491
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73185) - you deserved it (5543)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by toast - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: