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scrrewd

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scrrewd
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  • Number of visits : 59
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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scrrewd's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47777) - you deserved it (3182) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML

#19966963
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18776) - you deserved it (3391)

On 07/21/2012 at 3:40am - intimacy - by Lucy - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML

#18456086
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29285) - you deserved it (4273)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by journey_Jeanne - United States (California)

Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML

#17671695
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23597) - you deserved it (9020)

On 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm - animals - by anonomys (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML

#15678976
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28703) - you deserved it (10134)

On 04/07/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

#13269256
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24656) - you deserved it (3786)

On 09/30/2010 at 9:55pm - love - by dontask (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I decided to try whitening my teeth for the first time. I applied the strips to my teeth and decided to lay down and wait for the thirty required minutes to pass. I accidentally fell asleep and woke up three hours later. My teeth are still in excruciating pain and are covered in white streaks. FML

#6841945
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7976) - you deserved it (26437)

On 12/20/2009 at 2:52am - health - by nikko blue - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML

#3648052
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23490) - you deserved it (63470)

On 07/10/2009 at 7:18pm - love - by failhusband (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML

#598491
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67889) - you deserved it (5011)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by toast - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)



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