About scottyrocks123 : Usually bored
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
You sure know how to party?
You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!
Today, while I was mowing the lawn in my backyard, I ran over a glass bottle. My legs looked like a disco ball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30669) - you deserved it (7991)
On 05/24/2011 at 8:33am - health - by tash (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while all the other marines got to fly around the island on a helicopter, I got stuck on gear guard. What was I guarding? The staff sergeant's parking spot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27321) - you deserved it (3188)
On 05/23/2011 at 10:41pm - work - by rogerusmc23 - Japan (Tokyo)
Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27716) - you deserved it (15521)
On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I threw a surprise birthday party for my 3 year old. There was music, snacks and lots of toys. My 3 year old is a cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10565) - you deserved it (34257)
On 05/17/2011 at 11:04pm - animals - by kaileigh10 -
Today, I got a boner in the MRI machine while my pelvic bone was being scanned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39888) - you deserved it (6908)
On 05/17/2011 at 6:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, I was making out with this guy that I like. In an attempt to be romantic, he tried to pick me up and press me against the wall. He couldn't lift me off the ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32727) - you deserved it (11390)
On 05/16/2011 at 10:12pm - love - by Fatty (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54744) - you deserved it (7497)
On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)
Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31643) - you deserved it (3310)
On 05/14/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by IhateThem - United States
Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML
I agree, your life sucks (27387) - you deserved it (11196)
On 05/13/2011 at 3:20am - kids - by eenkoekje -
Today, I realized that I frequently argue with myself and respond back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19141) - you deserved it (9480)
On 05/07/2011 at 3:08am - misc - by sillyfox4lyfe (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10404) - you deserved it (35939)
On 05/06/2011 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia
Today, I had to call the doctor to go and have them remove a tick that had got stuck to my man-parts while fishing. The receptionist laughed, she thought I was prank calling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23737) - you deserved it (2800)
On 05/04/2011 at 10:38pm - health - by ouchies - United States
Today, is the third day my ring won't come off. I used soap, vegetable oil, lotion, soaked my hand in ice to make the swelling of my finger to come down, and even my mom pulled so hard she dislocated my finger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28715) - you deserved it (4737)
On 05/04/2011 at 1:31pm - misc - by Madi Jenna - United States
Today, a tornado watch has been instituted in my town. At this moment, I have violent diarrhea, and my toilet sits right in front of a window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24200) - you deserved it (2863)
On 04/28/2011 at 12:51pm - health - by cnamobi - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while driving on the highway, I got stuck in a traffic jam. Upon glancing over at the car in the next lane, I saw it was my ex as of a week ago. We sat in barely moving traffic right next to each other for half an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27151) - you deserved it (2946)
On 04/25/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Awkward (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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