About scottyrocks123 : Usually bored
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scottyrocks123's favorite FMLs
Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML
by Anonymous / 05/01/2013 at 2:41pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/01/2013 at 11:55am / United States / Miscellaneous
by awkward O_o / 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
by Zxz / 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML
by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 11:21am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy
by guy / 03/15/2013 at 1:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML
by mypelvishurts / 02/23/2013 at 2:32am / United States (California) / Work
by Paris101 / 02/22/2013 at 9:51am / United States (Missouri) / Kids
by pornhastaughtmenothing / 02/21/2013 at 3:46am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I uploaded the first chapter of my best writing yet to a popular writing website. After ten minutes, I was thrilled to already see one review and five comments. Each comment was telling me to immediately delete the story because of how horrible it was. The rating was half a star. FML
by Apparently not a writer / 02/20/2013 at 11:36am / United States (Delaware) / Work
Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML
by Laila / 02/20/2013 at 7:01am / United States / Kids
Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML
by Anonymous / 02/18/2013 at 9:01am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML
by UnluckyInk / 02/18/2013 at 3:50am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by MsCobb / 02/16/2013 at 10:27am / United States (Ohio) / Love
- Today I had to contact tech support for my computer. I had a chat window open + a customer service… Today, my vegan friend, not knowing that I'm allergic to soy, snuck tofu into my chicken burrito to… Today, my best friend, who just got his drivers license, convinced me to take my dads brand new car…
- Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, I’m at this huge beach party in Thailand. I kiss a beautiful girl and decide to take it to… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the…