Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

scottyrocks123

Offline (yesterday at 6:55pm) | Search for a member

scottyrocks123

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 24 April 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2185
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About scottyrocks123 : Usually bored

scottyrocks123's page activity

Visits<b>stonedfly3</b> - yesterday at 8:22pm<b>akorpija</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 2:57am<b>srjones1991</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 2:53am<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 2:26am<b>ervnomyous</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 11:39pm<b>uiuhj</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 11:25am<b>lambofgodrules</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 6:55pm<b>EpicKid07</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 1:59pm<b>declanmar</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 7:56pm<b>Goldenfire</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 4:48pm<b>Yongchi</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 10:28pm<b>lilprincipessa</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 11:00pm<b>footcheezeez</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 8:03pm<b>Tika876</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 4:24pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 6:40pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 9:04am<b>redblueflame</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 9:29am<b>infinity28</b> - the 03/20/2013 at 4:20am

scottyrocks123's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

See all of scottyrocks123's badges

scottyrocks123's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter told me that when she dies, she'd like her ashes spread on her laptop. FML

#19475890
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22054) - you deserved it (3048)

On 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm - kids - by sigh (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I arrived at work, only to find my computer's massive CRT monitor had been smashed up beyond belief. Everyone else has flat-screen monitors, and I'd made no secret of how unfair it is to me. According to my boss, this makes me the obvious culprit, and now I'm suspended. FML

#19473815
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24091) - you deserved it (2310)

On 04/15/2012 at 5:26pm - work - by ... (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML

#19411033
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20283) - you deserved it (11741)

On 04/05/2012 at 7:29am - misc - by Nadaz (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while at a store, my stuttering problem became so bad the poor store clerk had to supply my own words for me. FML

#19397276
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20424) - you deserved it (1622)

On 04/02/2012 at 8:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my house caught on fire. The firefighters said that it was caused by a lit cigarette on the carpet. I don't smoke, but apparently my 13 year old son does. FML

#19370101
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31379) - you deserved it (3391)

On 03/29/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by no one - United States (Texas)

Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML

#19276990
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24872) - you deserved it (3025)

On 03/14/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by S. Michaels (man) - United States

Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML

#19247785
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23336) - you deserved it (5733)

On 03/09/2012 at 9:09pm - misc - by skid kid (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML

#19247785
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23336) - you deserved it (5733)

On 03/09/2012 at 9:09pm - misc - by skid kid (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML

#19247694
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8409) - you deserved it (35641)

On 03/09/2012 at 8:56pm - kids - by mikey51 (man) - Australia

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML

#19240246
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13418) - you deserved it (49452)

On 03/08/2012 at 4:48pm - love - by gabbykinz13 - United States

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14381) - you deserved it (49918)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25136) - you deserved it (7712)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

#19214836
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21081) - you deserved it (26571)

On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

#19196549
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8393) - you deserved it (52627) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by BadIdea - France

Today, I gave my little brother my iPhone so he could play a game. I soon forgot about it, and when I got it back two hours later, there was pudding and a couple of big cracks in it. FML

#19166508
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14197) - you deserved it (26464)

On 02/26/2012 at 8:53am - kids - by unknown - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: