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scottyrocks123

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scottyrocks123

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 24 April 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2295
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About scottyrocks123 : Usually bored

scottyrocks123's page activity

Visits<b>sdlr32787</b> - yesterday at 3:14pm<b>RayneSmytson</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 3:58pm<b>Compgeek1996</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:56pm<b>katydid91</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:29pm<b>stonedfly3</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 8:22pm<b>akorpija</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 2:57am<b>srjones1991</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 2:53am<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 2:26am<b>ervnomyous</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 11:39pm<b>uiuhj</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 11:25am<b>lambofgodrules</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 6:55pm<b>EpicKid07</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 1:59pm<b>declanmar</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 7:56pm<b>Goldenfire</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 4:48pm<b>Yongchi</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 10:28pm<b>lilprincipessa</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 11:00pm<b>footcheezeez</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 8:03pm<b>Tika876</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 4:24pm

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scottyrocks123's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31276) - you deserved it (5371)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while reading an erotic story I was more excited that the author used a conjunctive adverb than the sexual content in the story. FML

#20456501
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27840) - you deserved it (11167)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by frustrated - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31480) - you deserved it (2658)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML

#20442898
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24560) - you deserved it (4505)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, while trying to take my Christmas tree down, I learned that at some point during the last few weeks, it became home to a colony of green ants. I'm now covered in bites and terrified to go anywhere near it. FML

#20426337
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25200) - you deserved it (2684)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:54pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20507) - you deserved it (3657)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33168) - you deserved it (2540)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31094) - you deserved it (8573)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML

#20013635
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21363) - you deserved it (4937)

On 08/10/2012 at 2:54pm - love - by Darth Vomitus (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML

#19999762
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29485) - you deserved it (2584)

On 08/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by SingleAgain (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my daughter discovered that her Venus Fly Trap will not eat pieces of ripped-up scrap paper. Also today, I discovered that my daughter can't tell the difference between scrap paper and my monthly paycheck. FML

#19998217
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26783) - you deserved it (2501)

On 08/02/2012 at 10:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to the hospital for stomach pains, and was told that it sounds like I have an ovarian cyst. My mom went into a rage, screaming that I'd lied to her about being a virgin. Despite the doctor explaining that sexual activity has nothing to do with it, she refuses to believe him. FML

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

#19714828
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11873) - you deserved it (41278)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10507) - you deserved it (40653)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, I started my third day of a student exchange program in Belgium. My room-mate is a guy, our beds are in the same room, and he's always in and out of the bathroom. Consequently, I don't have nearly enough privacy to choke the cock, if you know what I mean. FML

#19679809
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8211) - you deserved it (24964)

On 05/25/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by MySummerinEurope (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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