About scottyrocks123 : Usually bored
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
You sure know how to party?
You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!
Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33591) - you deserved it (6845)
On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I learnt there's a woman who comes into my store only to hear my Barry White-like voice. My boss knows who it is, yet refuses to tell me because it's "hilarious." I'm now cautious of every customer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15867) - you deserved it (2444)
On 01/30/2012 at 4:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31277) - you deserved it (2025)
On 01/28/2012 at 7:46pm - misc - by Come on - United States
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15152) - you deserved it (3069)
On 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17331) - you deserved it (1781)
On 01/28/2012 at 10:46am - animals - by tannarox - United States (California)
Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16877) - you deserved it (2732)
On 01/24/2012 at 11:42am - work - by communistgirl (woman) - United States
Today, it's "family fun night." We're pulling weeds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16774) - you deserved it (1556)
On 01/23/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by Suzie Leone (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up to the sound of a Suburban crashing through my fence and striking the tree in my front yard. After filling out the police report, the driver repeatedly asked me to give him a lift to work. He seemed confused by my speechlessness. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18017) - you deserved it (1384)
On 01/22/2012 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15944) - you deserved it (2485)
On 12/30/2011 at 2:13am - misc - by 3peeps - United States
Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34596) - you deserved it (7884)
On 12/05/2011 at 12:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40010) - you deserved it (3999)
On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was so starved of human contact that I almost took up a transsexual hooker's offer of a "good time." Nothing wrong with that really, but they looked like a haunted tree dressed as Liza Minnelli. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8138) - you deserved it (13269)
On 09/05/2011 at 10:38pm - intimacy - by Username (man) - United States (California)
Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29389) - you deserved it (3956)
On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)
Today, I learned what it felt like to get shot in the nuts by an airsoft gun. Thank you, Mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23393) - you deserved it (3181)
On 09/01/2011 at 6:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25046) - you deserved it (2204)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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