About scottyrocks123 : Usually bored
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scottyrocks123's favorite FMLs
Today, I took my driving test. I was really nervous, but I thought I did pretty well in the end. That is until I parked the car and looked to the examiner. He was visibly shaken. He said I'd passed, quickly filled in the paperwork and left. On the downside, my car still smells of his shart. FML
by for shite's sake / 01/17/2015 at 5:24pm / United Kingdom (Kirklees) / Transportation
by subduedbeast / 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm / United States / Love
by Silbax1 / 10/27/2014 at 11:40am / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML
by MySonThePoet / 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, I went to a big job interview. As I walked in, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Other highlights include my voice cracking multiple times, sweating profusely and getting uncontrollable nervous giggling. The interviewer eventually stared at me in disbelief and asked if I was high. FML
by not on life, that's for fucking sure / 10/25/2014 at 2:27pm / United States / Work
Today, I got approached by a lady while eating at a fast-food restaurant who asked if I could spare five dollars. Confidently, I pulled out my wallet to show her that I had no cash, only to reveal a perfectly crisp five dollar bill that I had completely forgotten about. FML
by Yeah / 10/24/2014 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Money
Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML
by anonymous / 10/23/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Alexismaria / 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Bald / 10/21/2014 at 11:41am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Kids
by fizzie101 / 10/18/2014 at 5:43pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by KayyElOh94 / 10/17/2014 at 6:30pm / United States / Kids
by highfive / 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by facepalm / 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML
by Anonymous / 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous