About scottyrocks123 : Usually bored
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
You sure know how to party?
You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!
Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19360) - you deserved it (2151)
On 03/14/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by S. Michaels (man) - United States
Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17800) - you deserved it (4011)
On 03/09/2012 at 9:09pm - misc - by skid kid (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17800) - you deserved it (4011)
On 03/09/2012 at 9:09pm - misc - by skid kid (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6288) - you deserved it (24450)
On 03/09/2012 at 8:56pm - kids - by mikey51 (man) - Australia
Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10592) - you deserved it (36254)
On 03/08/2012 at 4:48pm - love - by gabbykinz13 - United States
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10581) - you deserved it (35210)
On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19888) - you deserved it (6927)
On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States
Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16688) - you deserved it (17996)
On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6188) - you deserved it (37917) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I gave my little brother my iPhone so he could play a game. I soon forgot about it, and when I got it back two hours later, there was pudding and a couple of big cracks in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10856) - you deserved it (18135)
On 02/26/2012 at 8:53am - kids - by unknown - United States (Maryland)
Today, my friend and I got into such a heated debate the police had to be called. The debate was about Whitney Houston. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5516) - you deserved it (19846)
On 02/20/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by OhMyWhitney - United States (Illinois)
Today, my car key clicker wouldn't let me in. After a few frustrating minutes, I realized that, besides electronic capabilities, it's also an actual key that fits in a hole to unlock my door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4475) - you deserved it (24660)
On 02/20/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I walked into two things. The first was a spiderweb. The second, due to blind panic, was oncoming traffic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16480) - you deserved it (3504)
On 02/14/2012 at 7:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my brother's girlfriend broke up with him. He has been playing Whitney Houston's "I will always love you" all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23290) - you deserved it (2101)
On 02/11/2012 at 1:23am - love - by annon - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36670) - you deserved it (3436)
Monday 20 May 2013
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