About scottyrocks123 : Usually bored
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scottyrocks123's favorite FMLs
Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML
by fired / 11/23/2010 at 8:41am / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML
by Anonymous / 11/21/2010 at 2:07pm / United States (California) / Work
by pst / 11/20/2010 at 8:06pm / South Africa (Western Cape) / Intimacy
Today, I had a toothache and applied some numbing gel to soothe the pain. Too much came out and made my whole mouth numb. A man came into my work, thought I was making fun of his lisp, and stormed out really upset. He later called to complain about me. The boss just called me to his office. FML
by speechless / 11/02/2010 at 1:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised to help her prepare for a math test. My mom thought it would be funny to put a stack of porn magazines and handcuffs on the table in my room when I went to open the door. FML
by crazy_mom / 11/01/2010 at 11:10am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/23/2010 at 4:03am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Triumvirate / 10/16/2010 at 1:26am / United States (California) / Transportation
by lightblue / 10/10/2010 at 12:33am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML
by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 2:29am / United States (Oregon) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/22/2010 at 10:36am / United States (Tennessee) / Work
Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test saying "well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML
by anonymous / 09/17/2010 at 4:19am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the airport with my mom, who requested a wheelchair for me, since I have a broken leg. I'm 24. Embarrassed, I insisted I push myself around, instead of an airline assistant doing it. A few seconds later, I crash into the same airline assistant, who then falls back into my lap. FML
Today, I filed a missing persons report on my boyfriend. He was out fishing and then was supposed to meet me for a romantic weekend getaway. He never showed up and didn't respond to my texts. I found out, courtesy of a voicemail from the sheriff's department, that he'd broken up with me. FML
by stood-up / 09/12/2010 at 1:22am / United States (Washington) / Love
by teacher / 08/31/2010 at 10:50am / United States (Virginia) / Kids