About scottyrocks123 : Usually bored
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scottyrocks123's favorite FMLs
by Eddy / 03/13/2015 at 11:27pm / United States (Arkansas) / Animals
Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML
by actually just constipated.. and stupid / 03/04/2015 at 10:03am / Tunisia / Health
Today, after seven people at work approaching me and asking me if I was 'that lad from the paper', I picked one up to see what they were talking about. Turns out my doppelganger is a man who brutally murdered his older brother last year. FML
by definatelynotamurderer / 03/03/2015 at 9:01am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by mszoe / 03/01/2015 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by confused / 02/26/2015 at 10:07pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, I'm an intern working in a company's reception area, which happens to have a coffee dispenser. As I'm the new girl, every client getting coffee wants to buy me one. I'm too polite to say no. It's 10:26 AM, and I'm on cup #17. FML
by chloe_zjk / 02/18/2015 at 12:22am / France / Work
by ahhhhhh / 02/12/2015 at 12:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/10/2015 at 6:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML
by MIB thingy please... / 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by jl_word / 02/04/2015 at 4:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML
by lucas90 / 02/04/2015 at 4:42pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love
by No thank you / 02/04/2015 at 3:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I shaved for the first time. My mum gave me a razor and I spent about 20 minutes trying to use it. I gave up, yelling, "FUCK IT!" and put it back on the shelf. It fell, and as it hit the floor, a lid fell off. I'd tried to shave with a sheathed razor for 20 minutes. FML
by februarymarchapril / 02/03/2015 at 10:45pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by toe / 02/02/2015 at 10:14pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health
by StantheMan93 / 02/02/2015 at 6:59pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…