About scottyrocks123 : Usually bored
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scottyrocks123's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up to the sound of a Suburban crashing through my fence and striking the tree in my front yard. After filling out the police report, the driver repeatedly asked me to give him a lift to work. He seemed confused by my speechlessness. FML
by Anonymous / 01/22/2012 at 12:57pm / United States (Nevada) / Transportation
Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML
by 3peeps / 12/30/2011 at 2:13am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 12:23am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was so starved of human contact that I almost took up a transsexual hooker's offer of a "good time." Nothing wrong with that really, but they looked like a haunted tree dressed as Liza Minnelli. FML
by Username / 09/05/2011 at 10:38pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by mannydanny / 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 6:52am / United States / Health
by piece of shed / 08/31/2011 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I finally put the finishing touches on my first vacation in over two years, due to my hellish work schedule. The Governor essentially just vetoed my vacation with evacuation orders. Thanks, Hurricane Irene. FML
by Anonymous / 08/25/2011 at 2:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Holidays
Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML
by brittbrat4 / 08/13/2011 at 2:51am / United States (Florida) / Kids
by TuteSweet / 08/12/2011 at 2:17am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by jbthedude / 08/05/2011 at 5:57am / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Health
Today, I came to terms with the fact that my boss owns my soul for the bare minimum wage, and has me so whipped that he probably will for the rest of eternity, or until his ancient, withered, necromantic ass dies. FML
by Username / 08/04/2011 at 2:47pm / United States / Work
Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML
by Joe / 08/04/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Florida) / Money
Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. They grabbed and lifted me in the air, about to throw me in the pool. My iPhone was in my pocket, so I screamed "MY PHONE!" They paused so I could gently throw it onto a deck chair. It bounced, hit the concrete, and cracked its screen. FML
by howniceofyou / 08/01/2011 at 2:12pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say…