About scottyrocks123 : Usually bored
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scottyrocks123's favorite FMLs
Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML
by Hannah / 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by BadIdea / 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm / France / Intimacy
by unknown / 02/26/2012 at 8:53am / United States (Maryland) / Kids
by OhMyWhitney / 02/20/2012 at 2:41am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/20/2012 at 1:05am / United States / Transportation
by Anonymous / 02/14/2012 at 7:39am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by annon / 02/11/2012 at 1:23am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML
by Anonymous / 02/05/2012 at 10:45am / Reserved / Miscellaneous
by xX_nsn_Xx / 02/03/2012 at 9:47am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I learnt there's a woman who comes into my store only to hear my Barry White-like voice. My boss knows who it is, yet refuses to tell me because it's "hilarious." I'm now cautious of every customer. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2012 at 4:00am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML
by Come on / 01/28/2012 at 7:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
by Anonymous / 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm / United States / Love
by tannarox / 01/28/2012 at 10:46am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML
by communistgirl / 01/24/2012 at 11:42am / United States / Work
by Suzie Leone / 01/23/2012 at 10:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…