About scottyrocks123 : Usually bored
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scottyrocks123's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/14/2012 at 7:39am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by annon / 02/11/2012 at 1:23am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML
by Anonymous / 02/05/2012 at 10:45am / Reserved / Miscellaneous
by xX_nsn_Xx / 02/03/2012 at 9:47am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I learnt there's a woman who comes into my store only to hear my Barry White-like voice. My boss knows who it is, yet refuses to tell me because it's "hilarious." I'm now cautious of every customer. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2012 at 4:00am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML
by Come on / 01/28/2012 at 7:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
by Anonymous / 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm / United States / Love
by tannarox / 01/28/2012 at 10:46am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML
by communistgirl / 01/24/2012 at 11:42am / United States / Work
by Suzie Leone / 01/23/2012 at 10:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to the sound of a Suburban crashing through my fence and striking the tree in my front yard. After filling out the police report, the driver repeatedly asked me to give him a lift to work. He seemed confused by my speechlessness. FML
by Anonymous / 01/22/2012 at 12:57pm / United States (Nevada) / Transportation
Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML
by 3peeps / 12/30/2011 at 2:13am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 12:23am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was so starved of human contact that I almost took up a transsexual hooker's offer of a "good time." Nothing wrong with that really, but they looked like a haunted tree dressed as Liza Minnelli. FML
by Username / 09/05/2011 at 10:38pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I was in a taxi in Mexico. The driver got fed up with the traffic and decided to cross the…