About scottyrocks123 : Usually bored
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
You sure know how to party?
You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!
Today, my husband bought a horse. We don't own any furniture, but we have a flippin' horse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43353) - you deserved it (5134)
On 03/15/2011 at 2:01am - money - by neverthefirst -
Today, a frog made my hot tub his new home. I can't stand frogs and he moves lightening fast. I think the only way to get rid of him is to turn the heat on and boil him. Which I would do if my daughter didn't already adore him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20457) - you deserved it (7821)
On 03/14/2011 at 8:57pm - kids - by BSwan (woman) - Australia
Today, my friends told me that they couldn't make it to my birthday dinner unless I changed the time, because I'd made dinner reservations that would clash with the new episode of Jersey Shore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29523) - you deserved it (7013)
On 03/10/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by Jim - United States
Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41932) - you deserved it (12391)
On 03/01/2011 at 8:24am - intimacy - by WhyMe? -
Today, after we'd let an author rent out our cabin, we read in the book of poems he wrote while staying that he'd described how he enjoyed sitting on our table naked. The same table we often eat off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21393) - you deserved it (3646)
On 02/28/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Username -
Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21426) - you deserved it (2106)
Today, I was in science class studying dead insects for biology. After packing away the jars, I noticed a red-back spider on the bench. Thinking it was missing from a jar, I picked it up. It wasn't missing. It was alive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22849) - you deserved it (3578)
On 02/17/2011 at 5:39am - animals - by shaunaaa (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19695) - you deserved it (2869)
On 02/17/2011 at 1:22am - health - by no more tp -
Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38748) - you deserved it (10385)
On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12326) - you deserved it (46761)
On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I found out that even though my sister and I are identical twins, I'm known as "The ugly one". FML
I agree, your life sucks (29779) - you deserved it (2467)
On 02/07/2011 at 8:21pm - misc - by 5minsolder (woman) - United States
Today, I told my new boss to wish his daughter a happy birthday on my behalf, as I overheard him saying it was today. Turns out she committed suicide three years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32892) - you deserved it (5499)
On 02/07/2011 at 7:54pm - misc - by um -
Today, it looks like I may have an STD. My fiancé and his friends went to Vegas two months ago. He says he's been completely faithful. They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Turns out that's not quite true. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35976) - you deserved it (3704)
On 02/07/2011 at 2:51pm - intimacy - by anonomous - United States (Florida)
Today, I was driving with my parents while explaining that young people like myself are better drivers because we have better reflexes. My explanation was suddently interrupted with the sound of me crashing the car against a parked car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4974) - you deserved it (33318)
On 02/07/2011 at 12:46pm - misc - by superdriver - Mexico (Distrito Federal)
Today, to enhance our sex life, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex in our local mall's parking lot. The feeling of getting caught is fun and exhilarating. Until you actually get caught. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8578) - you deserved it (37197)
On 02/04/2011 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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