Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

scottyrocks123

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

scottyrocks123

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 24 April 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2307
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About scottyrocks123 : Usually bored

scottyrocks123's page activity

Visits<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 3:14pm<b>RayneSmytson</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 3:58pm<b>Compgeek1996</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:56pm<b>katydid91</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:29pm<b>stonedfly3</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 8:22pm<b>akorpija</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 2:57am<b>srjones1991</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 2:53am<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 2:26am<b>ervnomyous</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 11:39pm<b>uiuhj</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 11:25am<b>lambofgodrules</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 6:55pm<b>EpicKid07</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 1:59pm<b>declanmar</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 7:56pm<b>Goldenfire</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 4:48pm<b>Yongchi</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 10:28pm<b>lilprincipessa</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 11:00pm<b>footcheezeez</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 8:03pm<b>Tika876</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 4:24pm

scottyrocks123's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of scottyrocks123's badges

scottyrocks123's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out I'm allergic to our new cat. My mom said she'd rather get rid of me than the cat. FML

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML

#21252547
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34470) - you deserved it (16194)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, someone, and I still can't figure out who, switched my shampoo with mayonnaise. FML

#21249696
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37859) - you deserved it (3385)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by mayoshampoo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend was entertaining himself by shoving tampons up his nose and seeing how far across the bed he could blow them. This man is the father of my son. FML

#21248639
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35158) - you deserved it (8708)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:11pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML

#21248448
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32319) - you deserved it (5739)

On 08/30/2014 at 12:40pm - misc - by liilii (man) - India (Kerala)

Today, my demented little sister walked up to me and kicked me between the legs. I told my parents, but they just accusingly asked me what I did to provoke her. When I said "nothing", they accused me of lying. There is no justice. FML

#21247278
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37474) - you deserved it (2886)

On 08/28/2014 at 5:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Portugal

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room. I jumped up and went running, only to find out it was my mother, who'd screamed at some dramatic plot twist in a Sex and the City episode. FML

#21243243
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35757) - you deserved it (2913)

On 08/22/2014 at 4:26pm - misc - by leastitwasntsurpriseanal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

#21241406
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64553) - you deserved it (4110)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:15am - health - by BagelTheOtaku (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

#21241122
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37144) - you deserved it (3471)

On 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43551) - you deserved it (16546)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

#21210892
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51379) - you deserved it (3570)

On 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm - kids - by fuck you, kid (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML

#21184110
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45483) - you deserved it (3524)

On 06/22/2014 at 11:10am - misc - by paywithpoop - United States

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

#21158187
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42516) - you deserved it (3649)

On 05/31/2014 at 12:39pm - health - by half-dead in CA (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mum begged me to let her put fake nails on me to practice for her styling exam. I've been sitting on the toilet for the past half an hour trying to figure out how to wipe without damaging something. FML

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

#21078597
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65071) - you deserved it (5121)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:33am - health - by rolypoly (woman) - United Kingdom



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: