About scottyrocks123 : Usually bored
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
You sure know how to party?
You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!
Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19997) - you deserved it (43284)
On 05/01/2013 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47842) - you deserved it (3366)
On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32370) - you deserved it (4367)
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33266) - you deserved it (12601)
On 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39715) - you deserved it (4884)
On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)
Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40327) - you deserved it (1999)
On 03/15/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by guy - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29804) - you deserved it (4478)
On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)
Today, I emailed 10 parents inviting them to my son's birthday party. All 10 emailed back saying their kids had to get a cavity filled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26247) - you deserved it (2173)
On 02/22/2013 at 9:51am - kids - by Paris101 - United States (Missouri)
Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27482) - you deserved it (6843)
On 02/21/2013 at 3:46am - intimacy - by pornhastaughtmenothing - United States (Washington)
Today, I uploaded the first chapter of my best writing yet to a popular writing website. After ten minutes, I was thrilled to already see one review and five comments. Each comment was telling me to immediately delete the story because of how horrible it was. The rating was half a star. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20683) - you deserved it (6805)
On 02/20/2013 at 11:36am - work - by Apparently not a writer (woman) - United States (Delaware)
Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML
I agree, your life sucks (27563) - you deserved it (3118)
On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States
Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30433) - you deserved it (2127)
On 02/18/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11393) - you deserved it (29896)
On 02/18/2013 at 3:50am - intimacy - by UnluckyInk (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25893) - you deserved it (3958)
On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was making lunch, when my two-year-old ran up to me and handed me an empty bottle of baby powder. I soon realized I'd be spending the rest of my day cleaning the entire house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23666) - you deserved it (2718)
On 02/13/2013 at 4:01pm - kids - by mattrd (man) - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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