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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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sciencexgeek

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sciencexgeek
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 385
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Today, my dad demonstrated just how incredibly illiterate he is. He sent me a chain email about the awful lives of people with "Asparagus syndrome". FML

#16078669 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (17107) - you deserved it (2268)

On 05/07/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by K. - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML

#16077554 (737)

I agree, your life sucks (10487) - you deserved it (58914)

On 05/07/2011 at 11:29am - misc - by BCBUDDY - United States (Florida)

Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML

#15215945 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (24395) - you deserved it (2968)

On 03/06/2011 at 6:28am - money - by notsosmart - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to sell my phone to pay for the phone bill. FML

#15087655 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (14580) - you deserved it (16535)

On 02/23/2011 at 4:18am - money - by suzyyy (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to move out. Excited, thinking he wanted us to move out from his mom's house, I said, "Yeah! Just you and me?" to which he smirked and replied, "No, just you." FML

#15081669 (51)

I agree, your life sucks (24214) - you deserved it (3250)

On 02/22/2011 at 7:27pm - love - by Shropintz (woman) - United States

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

#15079652 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (14509) - you deserved it (22237)

On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I watched my grandfather try and park his car inside the storage area for shopping carts, thinking it was a parking space. FML

#14934394 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (18008) - you deserved it (2229)

On 02/11/2011 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was doing my grocery shopping, absent-mindedly wondering if my new diet was working. I got my answer when my panties fell down around my ankles. FML

#14719837 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (16432) - you deserved it (5424)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:44pm - misc - by knickersdontfit (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my over protective brother is going to move in with me when he gets out of jail. My chances of ever being in a relationship are now next to zero. FML

#14601151 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (21213) - you deserved it (2902)

On 01/16/2011 at 2:27pm - love - by sammsamm56 - United States

Today, I was playing hide and seek with a few friends. I hid in the bathroom, under the sink in a cabinet. I ended up having to sit there quiet as a mouse while my grandfather took an incredibly long and vile dump. I was too afraid to move. Let's just say he didn't rush it. FML

#14272041 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (25853) - you deserved it (6765)

On 12/20/2010 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said, "I'll protect you." A few seconds later, he jumped up so violently, he gave me a bloody nose, and ran screaming out of the room. FML

#14248345 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (22466) - you deserved it (2477)

On 12/18/2010 at 2:14pm - love - by asdfghjkl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

#14187537 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (70254) - you deserved it (3218)

On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while my mom was out, I took the car out to CVS to get some food, even though I'm not legally allowed to drive. As soon as I got back in the car, my mom pulled up 2 parking spaces away from me. She didn't notice me bend down to hide... until I accidentally hit the horn in the process. FML

#13949497 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (4773) - you deserved it (36177)

On 11/23/2010 at 1:23pm - misc - by horn-y (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what celebrity I look like. He thought long and hard, then said "Sarah Jessica Parker." I gasped and told him that I find her extremely hideous. He replied "So do I." FML

#13879750 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (21974) - you deserved it (5660)

On 11/17/2010 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, the highlight of my day was a conversation about Disney, which ranged from Pocahontas lunch boxes to Disneyland Paris. I don't know who was more excited; me, a 20 year old man, or the 6 year old girl I was talking to. FML

#13876997 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (13634) - you deserved it (5372)

On 11/17/2010 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom