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schalk

Offline (the 04/08/2015 at 11:21am) | Search for a member

schalk

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 March 1980 (35 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4076
  • Number of comments : 228
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About schalk : Don't be a smartass if you're not smart, otherwise you're just an ass.

schalk's page activity

Visits<b>brieee</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 2:57pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 4:47pm<b>ThatGuy1411</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 1:43pm<b>derpina72</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:01am<b>em_iweird</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 2:06am<b>helloimclaudia</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 9:05pm<b>Harpy</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 12:34pm<b>Beealicious</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:00am<b>lolcat97</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 9:24pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 10:04pm<b>madrid201</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 8:32pm<b>anonfmler08</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 4:43am<b>PeaceTea13</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 12:55pm<b>boredgirl123</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 7:56pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:21am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 2:11pm<b>TheSnides</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 11:27pm<b>saucyrossi</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 6:39am

schalk's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of schalk's badges

schalk's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML

#17187875
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39220) - you deserved it (5373)

On 07/20/2011 at 5:17am - intimacy - by growlr - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML

#17147393
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39771) - you deserved it (2818)

On 07/17/2011 at 8:34am - love - by bigjohn106 - United States (Maryland)

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19681) - you deserved it (47059)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

#17088457
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31924) - you deserved it (6525)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)

Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML

#17012107
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42159) - you deserved it (6373)

On 07/07/2011 at 8:19am - misc - by Snurkles (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finished reading a book about the treatment of mental patients and decided to use some of the strategies on my dad. We've never gotten along better. FML

#16971210
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33470) - you deserved it (4014)

On 07/04/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Bekah (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML

#16966057
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40943) - you deserved it (5808)

On 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by WasteOMoney - United States (Texas)

Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML

#16919201
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39803) - you deserved it (3208)

On 06/30/2011 at 4:18am - misc - by John - United States

Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML

#16919201
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39803) - you deserved it (3208)

On 06/30/2011 at 4:18am - misc - by John - United States

Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML

#16914015
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35575) - you deserved it (5427)

On 06/29/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by RYZILLAHitZ - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML

#16862726
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46189) - you deserved it (10185)

On 06/26/2011 at 6:32am - kids - by Unsanitary (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, one of my students corrected the problem I had solved on the board, explaining that you do multiplication before subtraction. I teach the second grade. FML

#16829160
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10130) - you deserved it (48960)

On 06/24/2011 at 2:47am - work - by gutav indogop - Switzerland (Aargau)

Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that no, the dishwasher didn't make the glasses shrink, I'd bought smaller glasses. FML

#16812577
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31064) - you deserved it (5722)

On 06/23/2011 at 4:53am - kids - by wow - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend bought several packs of bottled water, even though we have pure mountain water on tap. She did this because the pile-up of unwashed dishes in the sink makes it virtually impossible to slide a glass under the tap. FML

#16718641
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10045) - you deserved it (41581) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/17/2011 at 9:25pm - love - by Anonyme - Switzerland (Fribourg)

Today, I finally used the statistics book that I forked out $120 to buy. To kill an ant. FML

#16706324
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24316) - you deserved it (10283)

On 06/17/2011 at 2:07am - misc - by jaybob18 - United States (New York)



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