About schalk : Don't be a smartass if you're not smart, otherwise you're just an ass.
schalk's FML badges
I NEED to know!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
schalk's favorite FMLs
by hitintheeye / 11/26/2011 at 10:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the orthodontist. The lady took a break and went to use the restroom. Apparently she didn't bother to take her gloves off, and they smelled like straight up pee. She had her hands in my mouth for over an hour. FML
by Bob / 11/22/2011 at 1:06pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by toomuch / 11/22/2011 at 4:36am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by kaybax / 11/19/2011 at 6:42am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Love
by lababy / 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid. Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him. FML
by metallifreak44 / 11/14/2011 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 7:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by Korisite / 10/30/2011 at 1:31am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/29/2011 at 3:43am / United States / Love
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 11:52am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/05/2011 at 8:05am / Reserved / Miscellaneous
by abby181 / 09/03/2011 at 10:36am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by mannydanny / 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous
Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
by MissCan'tKeepAJob / 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML
by W1D0 / 08/20/2011 at 2:23am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…