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Today, I found out my dad has a folder full of baby pictures and things that I drew when I was younger, labeled "Shit from when Annie was cute." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26129) - you deserved it (2620)
On 01/15/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9311) - you deserved it (34704)
On 01/15/2011 at 2:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, while working at a dollar store, I was clobbered by a woman because apparently, I was ripping her off by charging two dollars for two doughnuts. She didn't understand that she couldn't buy multiple items at once for one dollar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22562) - you deserved it (1746)
On 01/13/2011 at 6:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was driving when I saw a spider hanging from the ceiling of my car. I'm terrified of spiders, so I was watching it instead the road. When I looked back at the road, I had just enough time to swerve to miss the fire hydrant but not the tree. Even the cop laughed at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8305) - you deserved it (19740)
On 01/12/2011 at 8:29am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I went to the bathroom and my pee split into 4 different streams, none of which actually hit the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19762) - you deserved it (5068)
On 01/11/2011 at 12:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boss asked for recommendations on how to improve the office. I sent her an e-mail full of my ideas. Later, my boss sent me a reply, saying, "Here's what head office thinks of your ideas." It contained a list of insults upper management made about me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16816) - you deserved it (2452)
On 01/10/2011 at 8:23am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58039) - you deserved it (2755)
On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41073) - you deserved it (6574)
On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I realised it takes me longer to take a dump than it does to have sex with my boyfriend. I also realised taking a dump is more satisfying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28871) - you deserved it (4572)
On 01/02/2011 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29259) - you deserved it (4391)
On 12/30/2010 at 9:09am - intimacy - by georgiahick -
Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30750) - you deserved it (4710)
On 12/19/2010 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by hotmommy -
Today, my parents finally invited my boyfriend over for dinner. Everything was going great until my mother asked him his profession. He stuffed his mouth full of lasagna, snorted, and then responded, "I clean shit for a living." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10492) - you deserved it (15802)
On 12/19/2010 at 2:46am - love - by lovecrisis247 - United States (Texas)
Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said, "I'll protect you." A few seconds later, he jumped up so violently, he gave me a bloody nose, and ran screaming out of the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24709) - you deserved it (3047)
On 12/18/2010 at 2:14pm - love - by asdfghjkl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML
I agree, your life sucks (91459) - you deserved it (10767)
On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30258) - you deserved it (49776)
On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom
Monday 20 May 2013
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