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schalk

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schalk
  • Town/Country : Pretoria, South Africa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 March 1980 (33 years)
  • Number of visits : 2099
  • Number of comments : 193
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About schalk : Don't be a smartass if you're not smart, otherwise you're just an ass.

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schalk's favorite FMLs

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37335) - you deserved it (7338)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, I was attacked by my dad because I got my hair dyed and he thought I was a robber. FML

#14782840
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19668) - you deserved it (5891)

On 01/31/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by f -

Today, I was at a power lifting meet when a girl I really liked walked in. Trying to impress her, I increased my bench to 350, when I have only done 300 before. She then watched me drop it on my chest, breaking my breast bone, and also crying in the process. FML

#14763055
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9186) - you deserved it (49393)

On 01/29/2011 at 7:35pm - love - by wowimdumb (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother and father thought it would be a good idea to wake me up by turning on a chainsaw and wearing hockey masks. FML

#14753442
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28215) - you deserved it (3766)

On 01/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by unlucky dudebag - United States (California)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML

#14747577
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6456) - you deserved it (88598)

On 01/28/2011 at 8:06pm - love - by peeoncarl1111 - United States

Today, as I was walking home, I passed some little girls who threw a bunch of snowballs at me. I dodged every single one, ran away laughing, and gave them the finger. I then ran into a snowman. FML

#14727355
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9251) - you deserved it (31117)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my uncle had a flashback to Vietnam. I'm now missing a tooth and have a cracked rib. FML

#14706011
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29557) - you deserved it (2286)

On 01/25/2011 at 2:28am - misc - by Randall (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got pulled over for a traffic violation. Thinking I could get away with it, I spoke with a French accent. The officer then asked me a question in perfect French. I got a ticket. FML

#14705471
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5264) - you deserved it (43037)

On 01/25/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by nmaidkieavg -

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. The subject of abuse came up and I told her that if her father ever hurt her I would cut his dick off. The next thing I hear is, "Don't say shit you can't back up!" Her father had picked up the phone the moment I'd said it. FML

#14699951
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19344) - you deserved it (9243)

On 01/24/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Fucked (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower. Attempting to rekindle some much needed romance in our lives, I seductively asked him, "Want me to join you?" He replied, "Sure. But first I have to poop." FML

#14669069
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21372) - you deserved it (4761)

On 01/22/2011 at 12:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out how hard a lemon is to the nuts when being hurled by an angry girlfriend for losing at Wii Sports. FML

#14654944
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19604) - you deserved it (3548)

On 01/20/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by neverhavingkids (man) - United States (California)

Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML

#14653951
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34803) - you deserved it (3000)

On 01/20/2011 at 8:15pm - love - by fianceeless (man) - United States (California)

Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML

#14616201
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21969) - you deserved it (3448) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24758) - you deserved it (15689) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I found out my dad has a folder full of baby pictures and things that I drew when I was younger, labeled "Shit from when Annie was cute." FML

#14587697
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26132) - you deserved it (2620)

On 01/15/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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