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schalk

Offline (the 03/25/2015 at 3:37pm) | Search for a member

schalk

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 March 1980 (35 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3969
  • Number of comments : 228
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About schalk : Don't be a smartass if you're not smart, otherwise you're just an ass.

schalk's page activity

Visits<b>brieee</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 2:57pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 4:47pm<b>ThatGuy1411</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 1:43pm<b>derpina72</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:01am<b>em_iweird</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 2:06am<b>helloimclaudia</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 9:05pm<b>Harpy</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 12:34pm<b>Beealicious</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:00am<b>lolcat97</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 9:24pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 10:04pm<b>madrid201</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 8:32pm<b>anonfmler08</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 4:43am<b>PeaceTea13</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 12:55pm<b>boredgirl123</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 7:56pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:21am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 2:11pm<b>TheSnides</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 11:27pm<b>saucyrossi</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 6:39am

schalk's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of schalk's badges

schalk's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the orthodontist. The lady took a break and went to use the restroom. Apparently she didn't bother to take her gloves off, and they smelled like straight up pee. She had her hands in my mouth for over an hour. FML

#18316654
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42412) - you deserved it (7783)

On 11/22/2011 at 1:06pm - health - by Bob - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

#18314611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34978) - you deserved it (11653)

On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I gave my boyfriend the silent treatment. He put his Facebook status as "When your girlfriend finally shuts up for once". FML

#18287242
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16072) - you deserved it (41529)

On 11/19/2011 at 6:42am - love - by kaybax - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37221) - you deserved it (19279)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid. Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him. FML

#18244836
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24727) - you deserved it (3326)

On 11/14/2011 at 8:37am - work - by metallifreak44 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

#18200253
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57028) - you deserved it (8447)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

#18108392
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41832) - you deserved it (23470)

On 10/30/2011 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Korisite - United States

Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriends house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML

#18101485
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14609) - you deserved it (19864)

On 10/29/2011 at 3:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26706) - you deserved it (4925)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

#17668852
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29512) - you deserved it (4383)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML

#17652059
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30296) - you deserved it (3191)

On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36008) - you deserved it (4516)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

#17557500
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19969) - you deserved it (53047)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

#17526290
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34878) - you deserved it (4649)

On 08/20/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by W1D0 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was caught and fined for picking a lock. I have OCD. I was picking the padlock on a toilet paper holder in a public toilet because the roll was the wrong way round. FML

#17487298
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30962) - you deserved it (12587)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by Anon - Australia (New South Wales)



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