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schalk

Offline (the 04/04/2014 at 4:30pm) | Search for a member

schalk

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 March 1980 (34 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3390
  • Number of comments : 218
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About schalk : Don't be a smartass if you're not smart, otherwise you're just an ass.

schalk's page activity

Visits<b>madrid201</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 8:32pm<b>anonfmler08</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 4:43am<b>PeaceTea13</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 12:55pm<b>boredgirl123</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 7:56pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:21am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 2:11pm<b>TheSnides</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 11:27pm<b>saucyrossi</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 6:39am<b>TheBrochure</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 11:55am<b>mudkipsan</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 3:06pm<b>katties</b> - the 01/30/2013 at 1:38pm<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 3:59pm<b>Synistiel</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 7:44pm<b>lastsinglepanda</b> - the 12/16/2012 at 5:01am<b>bluevayero</b> - the 12/13/2012 at 7:32pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 11/01/2012 at 1:43pm<b>twinny_sc</b> - the 10/30/2012 at 12:00am<b>rebecca123333</b> - the 09/28/2012 at 3:35am

schalk's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of schalk's badges

schalk's favorite FMLs

Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML

#17012107
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41973) - you deserved it (6365)

On 07/07/2011 at 8:19am - misc - by Snurkles (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finished reading a book about the treatment of mental patients and decided to use some of the strategies on my dad. We've never gotten along better. FML

#16971210
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31910) - you deserved it (3859)

On 07/04/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Bekah (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML

#16966057
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38859) - you deserved it (5572)

On 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by WasteOMoney - United States (Texas)

Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML

#16919201
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39616) - you deserved it (3204)

On 06/30/2011 at 4:18am - misc - by John - United States

Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML

#16919201
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39616) - you deserved it (3204)

On 06/30/2011 at 4:18am - misc - by John - United States

Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML

#16914015
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33654) - you deserved it (5239)

On 06/29/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by RYZILLAHitZ - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML

#16862726
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44489) - you deserved it (9946)

On 06/26/2011 at 6:32am - kids - by Unsanitary (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, one of my students corrected the problem I had solved on the board, explaining that you do multiplication before subtraction. I teach the second grade. FML

#16829160
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10092) - you deserved it (48805)

On 06/24/2011 at 2:47am - work - by gutav indogop - Switzerland (Aargau)

Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that no, the dishwasher didn't make the glasses shrink, I'd bought smaller glasses. FML

#16812577
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30877) - you deserved it (5711)

On 06/23/2011 at 4:53am - kids - by wow - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend bought several packs of bottled water, even though we have pure mountain water on tap. She did this because the pile-up of unwashed dishes in the sink makes it virtually impossible to slide a glass under the tap. FML

#16718641
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9994) - you deserved it (41468) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/17/2011 at 9:25pm - love - by Anonyme - Switzerland (Fribourg)

Today, I finally used the statistics book that I forked out $120 to buy. To kill an ant. FML

#16706324
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24201) - you deserved it (10248)

On 06/17/2011 at 2:07am - misc - by jaybob18 - United States (New York)

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

#16689937
493 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15070) - you deserved it (215084)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:20am - intimacy - by crushed dreams - United States

Today, on my way home from work, I decided to bring my pregnant wife a bouquet of roses to surprise her. Her response? "Why didn't you get me something useful, like chicken wings, instead?" FML

#16583514
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40300) - you deserved it (9647)

On 06/09/2011 at 7:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

#16464662
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55557) - you deserved it (4264)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60212) - you deserved it (12591)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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