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Perfectionist
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Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11392) - you deserved it (64776)
On 05/07/2011 at 11:29am - misc - by BCBUDDY - United States (Florida)
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29314) - you deserved it (10888)
On 05/06/2011 at 3:27pm - love - by msjustine (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10430) - you deserved it (36011)
On 05/06/2011 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia
Today, my mother told me she forgot what a verb is. I'm homeschooled, and she's my teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32659) - you deserved it (3636)
On 05/05/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by asadwa -
Today, my mother said she called our internet provider, and told them to cancel it. In rage, I left for a friends house for a couple of hours. When I got home, she told me she was joking, and wanted me out of the house so she could eat all the ice-cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12220) - you deserved it (25217)
On 05/04/2011 at 5:11am - misc - by Derps (man) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)
Today, my football coach thought it would be a good idea to get drunk, run to the other sideline, and scream, "WELCOME TO SPARTA, BITCH!" This would've been funny if he weren't also my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29126) - you deserved it (2841)
On 04/28/2011 at 6:28am - misc - by spartanson -
Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said "you know you can't wash and reuse these." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21178) - you deserved it (16039)
On 04/19/2011 at 12:19pm - misc - by killercow - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I told my son that his grades are dropping and his behavior is getting out of hand. To which he replied, "Yeah, so is your weight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31243) - you deserved it (11858)
On 04/19/2011 at 2:38am - kids - by randa -
Today, a young boy helped me carry my groceries home. He then asked me to sign his sheet to certify that he had done half an hour of service to the elderly. I'm 46. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30214) - you deserved it (4112)
On 04/17/2011 at 5:32am - kids - by ::Tracy:: - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38127) - you deserved it (13514)
On 04/16/2011 at 8:35am - health - by bbedlock (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my roommate told me there is some restricted number that keeps calling and waking her up at odd hours of the night. She then says she's getting the police involved to find out who it is because she feels "harassed". I'm the restricted caller calling to wake her up from snoring so loud. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12354) - you deserved it (24270)
On 04/14/2011 at 12:37am - misc - by wowimscrewed (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37934) - you deserved it (5080)
On 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by FrOsTy25 -
Today, I freaked out when the remote wouldn't unlock my car. I stood in the rain trying to open the door. Unsure of what to do next, I called my boyfriend. He told me to "put the key in the door". I had forgotten about that option. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7139) - you deserved it (55539)
On 04/13/2011 at 5:44pm - misc - by andimanastudent (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11190) - you deserved it (27551)
On 02/05/2011 at 5:54pm - misc - by Zeco - United States
Today, my boyfriend got a new rifle. He forced me to watch him stripping it, oiling it, and sliding things into its barrel. We then watched 'Enemy at the Gates'. I basically endured 4 hours of gun porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24393) - you deserved it (5926)
On 02/04/2011 at 2:59am - intimacy - by missbrit (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)
Monday 17 June 2013
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