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schalk

Offline (the 04/04/2014 at 4:30pm) | Search for a member

schalk

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 March 1980 (34 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2911
  • Number of comments : 218
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About schalk : Don't be a smartass if you're not smart, otherwise you're just an ass.

schalk's page activity

Visits<b>PeaceTea13</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 12:55pm<b>boredgirl123</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 7:56pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:21am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 2:11pm<b>TheSnides</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 11:27pm<b>saucyrossi</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 6:39am<b>TheBrochure</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 11:55am<b>mudkipsan</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 3:06pm<b>katties</b> - the 01/30/2013 at 1:38pm<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 3:59pm<b>Synistiel</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 7:44pm<b>lastsinglepanda</b> - the 12/16/2012 at 5:01am<b>bluevayero</b> - the 12/13/2012 at 7:32pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 11/01/2012 at 1:43pm<b>twinny_sc</b> - the 10/30/2012 at 12:00am<b>rebecca123333</b> - the 09/28/2012 at 3:35am<b>debbster7</b> - the 05/10/2012 at 2:18pm<b>slim_lady</b> - the 10/25/2011 at 5:05pm

schalk's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of schalk's badges

schalk's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34791) - you deserved it (4388)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

#17557500
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18763) - you deserved it (50928)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

#17526290
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33188) - you deserved it (4466)

On 08/20/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by W1D0 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was caught and fined for picking a lock. I have OCD. I was picking the padlock on a toilet paper holder in a public toilet because the roll was the wrong way round. FML

#17487298
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30762) - you deserved it (12301)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by Anon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my car was broken into, and they stole all my CDs, but left my daughter's Black Eyed Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissed about the theft, but almost glad to see that the delinquents in my town have a decent taste in music. FML

#17444868
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28882) - you deserved it (3893)

On 08/11/2011 at 10:30pm - money - by Musicfan - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML

#17365713
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9715) - you deserved it (72061)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I took my 8 month-old to the Urgent Care due to extreme constipation. I spent $25 for my son to poop on me the second the doctor had me remove his diaper. FML

#17360592
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24440) - you deserved it (3733)

On 08/03/2011 at 10:43pm - kids - by CrappyLuck - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

#17344218
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31437) - you deserved it (2869)

On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, at work I was talking to a co-worker about what a slacker my manager was, and how all she did was stand around and talk. She was standing behind me the whole time. I now have sore nuts due to a direct hit from a broom handle. FML

#17323826
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9038) - you deserved it (29939)

On 07/31/2011 at 8:07pm - work - by MikeMorin18 - United States

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

#17279382
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26009) - you deserved it (4138)

On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML

#17207535
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13802) - you deserved it (43118)

On 07/21/2011 at 7:35pm - work - by ohmygosh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML

#17187875
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37978) - you deserved it (5253)

On 07/20/2011 at 5:17am - intimacy - by growlr - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML

#17147393
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38363) - you deserved it (2716)

On 07/17/2011 at 8:34am - love - by bigjohn106 - United States (Maryland)

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18858) - you deserved it (45746)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

#17088457
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30545) - you deserved it (6376)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)



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