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Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20611) - you deserved it (3170)
On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11315) - you deserved it (31775)
On 07/21/2011 at 7:35pm - work - by ohmygosh - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32627) - you deserved it (4782)
On 07/20/2011 at 5:17am - intimacy - by growlr - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32395) - you deserved it (2007)
On 07/17/2011 at 8:34am - love - by bigjohn106 - United States (Maryland)
Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15747) - you deserved it (41142)
On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24717) - you deserved it (4862)
On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)
Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36288) - you deserved it (5824)
On 07/07/2011 at 8:19am - misc - by Snurkles (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I finished reading a book about the treatment of mental patients and decided to use some of the strategies on my dad. We've never gotten along better. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26774) - you deserved it (3475)
On 07/04/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Bekah (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33118) - you deserved it (4966)
On 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by WasteOMoney - United States (Texas)
Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32990) - you deserved it (2321)
On 06/30/2011 at 4:18am - misc - by John - United States
Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32990) - you deserved it (2321)
On 06/30/2011 at 4:18am - misc - by John - United States
Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28185) - you deserved it (4132)
On 06/29/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by RYZILLAHitZ - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38077) - you deserved it (7786)
On 06/26/2011 at 6:32am - kids - by Unsanitary (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, one of my students corrected the problem I had solved on the board, explaining that you do multiplication before subtraction. I teach the second grade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8445) - you deserved it (43006)
On 06/24/2011 at 2:47am - work - by gutav indogop - Switzerland (Aargau)
Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that no, the dishwasher didn't make the glasses shrink, I'd bought smaller glasses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24775) - you deserved it (4412)
On 06/23/2011 at 4:53am - kids - by wow - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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