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schalk

Offline (the 08/20/2015 at 9:38pm) | Search for a member

schalk

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 March 1980 (35 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4525
  • Number of comments : 234
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About schalk : Don't be a smartass if you're not smart, otherwise you're just an ass.

schalk's page activity

Visits<b>CompanionCube220</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 1:46pm<b>Georgia951</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 7:03pm<b>brieee</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 2:57pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 4:47pm<b>ThatGuy1411</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 1:43pm<b>derpina72</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:01am<b>em_iweird</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 2:06am<b>helloimclaudia</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 9:05pm<b>Harpy</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 12:34pm<b>Beealicious</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:00am<b>lolcat97</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 9:24pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 10:04pm<b>madrid201</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 8:32pm<b>anonfmler08</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 4:43am<b>PeaceTea13</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 12:55pm<b>boredgirl123</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 7:56pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:21am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 2:11pm

schalk's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of schalk's badges

schalk's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my son's school soccer game. Unfortunately, I couldn't get excited about it because my idiot son kept diving the moment anyone so much as breathed on him. It eventually earned him a penalty shot that won him the game. I was so ashamed, I snuck out to avoid being seen with him. FML

#21358080
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31905) - you deserved it (9690)

On 02/17/2015 at 3:02pm - kids - by Clive81 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18817) - you deserved it (35720)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a friend tell me all about how being a vegan was so great. They were eating eggs. FML

#21353006
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29475) - you deserved it (2870)

On 02/09/2015 at 9:32pm - misc - by LunaCrow (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I can't decide what's worse: the fact that my mother found my vibrator or that, as a prank, she replaced it with a realistic tarantula replica. She won't tell me where it is. FML

#21351119
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26787) - you deserved it (4212)

On 02/06/2015 at 7:57pm - misc - by go fuck myself - United States (Florida)

Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML

#21350765
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19850) - you deserved it (36227)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:06am - work - by fucked - Singapore

Today, the kid I was tutoring told me that "pirates were a myth. Like the Greeks and Romans." He's 16. FML

#21349360
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32392) - you deserved it (2363)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:39pm - misc - by FrustratedTutor - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML

#21347104
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28611) - you deserved it (3000)

On 01/31/2015 at 12:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. In the middle of it he said, "I want us to be covalent bonds". I didn't understand what he meant, and he actually stopped to explain it to me. FML

#21346746
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28686) - you deserved it (8269)

On 01/30/2015 at 10:11am - intimacy - by Chemist-why (woman) - United States (California)

Today, is the blizzard. I have to go into work, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't show up. I sent him a picture of the snow completely covering my car. He said I moved the snow there and could move it back. FML

#21345232
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26671) - you deserved it (1750)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:50pm - work - by bitchypast - United States (Maine)

Today, my dad and I were having a conversation about boneless chicken. He told me that they are raised boneless, going into detail, and I bought every word of it. Not until he started laughing did I realize how gullible I really am. I'm 22. FML

#21344889
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15274) - you deserved it (25675)

On 01/27/2015 at 12:43am - misc - by katrina2d (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while breast feeding my 7 month old before his nap, I hummed his favorite song as I rocked. He pulled away, stared at me, and cried til I shut up. FML

#21342394
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26879) - you deserved it (4318)

On 01/22/2015 at 5:36pm - kids - by ameliaruth09 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that The Interview wasn't a documentary and that Kim Jong-un wasn't actually assassinated by a pair of goofy reporters. FML

#21338906
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28967) - you deserved it (6062)

On 01/17/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my mom and I went to exchange a massive stuffed animal, which was meant for my niece. I was carrying it when I saw a really hot guy looking at me funny. My mom snickered and told him that I never go anywhere without "George". FML

#21325643
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32678) - you deserved it (3185)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:52am - misc - by thanks a lot mom - United States (California)

Today, my mom finally got a Netflix account after months of me begging. When I asked her what the login was, she refused to give it to me. She said, "Netflix will know it's not me and then they'll cancel our account." FML

Today, I accidentally texted my mother instead of my drug dealer. FML

#21324443
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16819) - you deserved it (47998)

On 12/26/2014 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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