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schalk

Offline (the 07/20/2015 at 4:53pm) | Search for a member

schalk

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 March 1980 (35 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4421
  • Number of comments : 231
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About schalk : Don't be a smartass if you're not smart, otherwise you're just an ass.

schalk's page activity

Visits<b>Georgia951</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 7:03pm<b>brieee</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 2:57pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 4:47pm<b>ThatGuy1411</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 1:43pm<b>derpina72</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:01am<b>em_iweird</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 2:06am<b>helloimclaudia</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 9:05pm<b>Harpy</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 12:34pm<b>Beealicious</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:00am<b>lolcat97</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 9:24pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 10:04pm<b>madrid201</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 8:32pm<b>anonfmler08</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 4:43am<b>PeaceTea13</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 12:55pm<b>boredgirl123</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 7:56pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:21am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 2:11pm<b>TheSnides</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 11:27pm

schalk's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of schalk's badges

schalk's favorite FMLs

Today, a young boy helped me carry my groceries home. He then asked me to sign his sheet to certify that he had done half an hour of service to the elderly. I'm 46. FML

#15818561
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37851) - you deserved it (5471)

On 04/17/2011 at 5:32am - kids - by ::Tracy:: - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

#15805325
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46607) - you deserved it (18109)

On 04/16/2011 at 8:35am - health - by bbedlock (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my roommate told me there is some restricted number that keeps calling and waking her up at odd hours of the night. She then says she's getting the police involved to find out who it is because she feels "harassed". I'm the restricted caller calling to wake her up from snoring so loud. FML

#15779610
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15070) - you deserved it (28526)

On 04/14/2011 at 12:37am - misc - by wowimscrewed (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML

#15773415
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46804) - you deserved it (7054)

On 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by FrOsTy25 -

Today, I freaked out when the remote wouldn't unlock my car. I stood in the rain trying to open the door. Unsure of what to do next, I called my boyfriend. He told me to "put the key in the door". I had forgotten about that option. FML

#15772637
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9084) - you deserved it (63120)

On 04/13/2011 at 5:44pm - misc - by andimanastudent (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML

#14855519
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15340) - you deserved it (38612)

On 02/05/2011 at 5:54pm - misc - by Zeco - United States

Today, my boyfriend got a new rifle. He forced me to watch him stripping it, oiling it, and sliding things into its barrel. We then watched 'Enemy at the Gates'. I basically endured 4 hours of gun porn. FML

#14836344
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32745) - you deserved it (7712)

On 02/04/2011 at 2:59am - intimacy - by missbrit (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43618) - you deserved it (7966)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, I was attacked by my dad because I got my hair dyed and he thought I was a robber. FML

#14782840
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26907) - you deserved it (7464)

On 01/31/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by f -

Today, I was at a power lifting meet when a girl I really liked walked in. Trying to impress her, I increased my bench to 350, when I have only done 300 before. She then watched me drop it on my chest, breaking my breast bone, and also crying in the process. FML

#14763055
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11698) - you deserved it (64608)

On 01/29/2011 at 7:35pm - love - by wowimdumb (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother and father thought it would be a good idea to wake me up by turning on a chainsaw and wearing hockey masks. FML

#14753442
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35717) - you deserved it (4402)

On 01/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by unlucky dudebag - United States (California)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML

#14747577
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8498) - you deserved it (105809)

On 01/28/2011 at 8:06pm - love - by peeoncarl1111 - United States

Today, as I was walking home, I passed some little girls who threw a bunch of snowballs at me. I dodged every single one, ran away laughing, and gave them the finger. I then ran into a snowman. FML

#14727355
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12671) - you deserved it (43028)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my uncle had a flashback to Vietnam. I'm now missing a tooth and have a cracked rib. FML

#14706011
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38133) - you deserved it (3168)

On 01/25/2011 at 2:28am - misc - by Randall (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got pulled over for a traffic violation. Thinking I could get away with it, I spoke with a French accent. The officer then asked me a question in perfect French. I got a ticket. FML

#14705471
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7430) - you deserved it (51889)

On 01/25/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by nmaidkieavg -



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