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schalk

Offline (the 01/12/2016 at 7:04pm) | Search for a member

schalk

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 March 1980 (35 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5009
  • Number of comments : 244
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About schalk : Don't be a smartass if you're not smart, otherwise you're just an ass.

schalk's page activity

Visits<b>rainbowsRlove</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 12:02pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 1:15pm<b>CompanionCube220</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 1:46pm<b>Georgia951</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 7:03pm<b>brieee</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 2:57pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 4:47pm<b>ThatGuy1411</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 1:43pm<b>derpina72</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:01am<b>em_iweird</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 2:06am<b>helloimclaudia</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 9:05pm<b>Harpy</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 12:34pm<b>Beealicious</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:00am<b>lolcat97</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 9:24pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 10:04pm<b>madrid201</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 8:32pm<b>anonfmler08</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 4:43am<b>PeaceTea13</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 12:55pm<b>boredgirl123</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 7:56pm

Fucked!<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 7:15pm

schalk's FML badges

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of schalk's badges

schalk's favorite FMLs

Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML

#16919201
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43444) - you deserved it (3465)

On 06/30/2011 at 4:18am - misc - by John - United States

Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML

#16914015
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37167) - you deserved it (5565)

On 06/29/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by RYZILLAHitZ - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML

#16862726
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48571) - you deserved it (10712)

On 06/26/2011 at 6:32am - kids - by Unsanitary (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, one of my students corrected the problem I had solved on the board, explaining that you do multiplication before subtraction. I teach the second grade. FML

#16829160
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11633) - you deserved it (52557)

On 06/24/2011 at 2:47am - work - by gutav indogop - Switzerland (Aargau)

Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that no, the dishwasher didn't make the glasses shrink, I'd bought smaller glasses. FML

#16812577
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34144) - you deserved it (6038)

On 06/23/2011 at 4:53am - kids - by wow - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend bought several packs of bottled water, even though we have pure mountain water on tap. She did this because the pile-up of unwashed dishes in the sink makes it virtually impossible to slide a glass under the tap. FML

#16718641
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11630) - you deserved it (44920) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/17/2011 at 9:25pm - love - by Anonyme - Switzerland (Fribourg)

Today, I finally used the statistics book that I forked out $120 to buy. To kill an ant. FML

#16706324
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26822) - you deserved it (10910)

On 06/17/2011 at 2:07am - misc - by jaybob18 - United States (New York)

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

#16689937
514 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17605) - you deserved it (234385)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:20am - intimacy - by crushed dreams - United States

Today, on my way home from work, I decided to bring my pregnant wife a bouquet of roses to surprise her. Her response? "Why didn't you get me something useful, like chicken wings, instead?" FML

#16583514
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44392) - you deserved it (10341)

On 06/09/2011 at 7:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

#16464662
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60235) - you deserved it (4611)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64825) - you deserved it (13516)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML

#16383481
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16833) - you deserved it (59983)

On 05/28/2011 at 5:24am - intimacy - by redhanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML

#16381910
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19008) - you deserved it (44446)

On 05/28/2011 at 1:27am - money - by greenhide8 - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12796) - you deserved it (67877)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22772) - you deserved it (64851)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -



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