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Today, I spent ages looking for a parking space at the mall. I saw a couple walking out of the mall and decided to follow them and take their space when they left. After following them for a good ten minutes, I realised they were heading to the bus stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5865) - you deserved it (19827)
On 12/10/2010 at 4:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10332) - you deserved it (16275)
On 12/06/2010 at 12:03pm - misc - by bribreeeeeezyfreshhh (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31693) - you deserved it (3700)
On 11/29/2010 at 10:03pm - kids - by Laura -
Today, I woke up to the face of Billy, the puppet from Saw, staring down at me. I was so scared, I wet myself instantly. It was my cousin in a mask, who is staying over for Thanksgiving weekend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19814) - you deserved it (4400)
On 11/25/2010 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was showing my Mom how to use the Internet on her phone. As there was bad reception, it said "Unexpected Failure." Seeing it, she muttered under her breath, "Just like you, then..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23458) - you deserved it (2000)
On 11/22/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by unexpected_failure (man) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me a magic trick. He filled a bowl with wine, pushed it on top of the ceiling using a broom stick, and held it up there. He told me to hold it and left. Taking my hands off the broomstick would cause the bowl to fall on my expensive new suit. Eventually, it did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20054) - you deserved it (8487)
On 11/15/2010 at 10:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46385) - you deserved it (1906)
On 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa
Today, there was an animal rummaging around in my trashcan, so I kicked the trashcan to see what it was. The fox then chased me for three blocks to find out what I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7205) - you deserved it (17581)
On 11/09/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, at work, after a visit to the bathroom, the lock broke in my hand and the door was jammed. I called the janitor on my cellphone and told him about the situation. He told me to fill out a complaint and leave it in his post box. He then hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20495) - you deserved it (1718)
On 11/09/2010 at 6:34am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)
Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25229) - you deserved it (4138)
On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)
Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16472) - you deserved it (46610)
On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend in the dark, he grabbed onto a fat roll and asked, "Is this your stomach or boob?" I didn't have the heart to tell him it was a back roll. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16842) - you deserved it (16261)
On 11/06/2010 at 6:37pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28487) - you deserved it (20809)
On 10/30/2010 at 8:37pm - intimacy - by tht1chk - United States (California)
Today, I was rejected by a girl when she told me she is not ready to date. We met on a dating website. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24288) - you deserved it (3616)
On 10/26/2010 at 12:55pm - love - by WTF - United States (Kansas)
Today, I went to the library to pick up Romeo and Juliet, for my English class. After looking around for half an hour, I asked the librarian. "I couldn't find Shakespeare anywhere. Where could I find him?" She quickly replied "He's dead", giggled to herself, and went back to her work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18248) - you deserved it (6460)
On 10/26/2010 at 3:48am - misc - by skippy_liz (woman) - United States (Florida)
Friday 24 May 2013
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