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schalk

Offline (the 08/20/2015 at 9:38pm) | Search for a member

schalk

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 March 1980 (35 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4526
  • Number of comments : 234
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About schalk : Don't be a smartass if you're not smart, otherwise you're just an ass.

schalk's page activity

Visits<b>CompanionCube220</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 1:46pm<b>Georgia951</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 7:03pm<b>brieee</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 2:57pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 4:47pm<b>ThatGuy1411</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 1:43pm<b>derpina72</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:01am<b>em_iweird</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 2:06am<b>helloimclaudia</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 9:05pm<b>Harpy</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 12:34pm<b>Beealicious</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:00am<b>lolcat97</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 9:24pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 10:04pm<b>madrid201</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 8:32pm<b>anonfmler08</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 4:43am<b>PeaceTea13</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 12:55pm<b>boredgirl123</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 7:56pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:21am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 2:11pm

schalk's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of schalk's badges

schalk's favorite FMLs

Today, I was telling my dad how my boyfriend dumped me yesterday. He responded by blowing his nose into his hand, wiping it in my hair, then saying "There, a REAL problem to whine about." FML

#21457532
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22618) - you deserved it (2277)

On 08/18/2015 at 8:34am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend dyed her hair from blonde to brunette. An hour later, she found one of her blonde hairs on my pillow, and accused me of cheating. FML

#21457265
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26450) - you deserved it (1769)

On 08/17/2015 at 6:46pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I posted on Facebook about a cooking mishap I had. My fiancé and ex then spent the next hour trading stories of my other kitchen disasters in the comments. FML

#21454739
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22249) - you deserved it (4905)

On 08/11/2015 at 10:29am - love - by Frozen Food Fan - United States (Nevada)

Today, I posted on Facebook about a cooking mishap I had. My fiancé and ex then spent the next hour trading stories of my other kitchen disasters in the comments. FML

#21454739
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22249) - you deserved it (4905)

On 08/11/2015 at 10:29am - love - by Frozen Food Fan - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had to serve an incredibly rude and irrationally angry customer, but I managed to keep my cool. When he finally went to leave with his purchase, I wished him a good day. He whirled around and yelled "I'll have whatever the fuck kind of day I want, bitch!" FML

#21453572
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26184) - you deserved it (1773)

On 08/08/2015 at 6:23pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while at the local supermarket, I spotted an attractive woman packing food into a shelf. Trying to be flirty, I asked where I could find the cream cheese. Apparently, it was on the shelf right behind me. I heard her mutter "idiot" under her breath. FML

#21453297
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20145) - you deserved it (10117)

On 08/07/2015 at 9:59pm - misc - by godzilllla - United States (Washington)

Today, I fed my 4ft python a live rat for the first time. He now has a new friend he won't let me near. FML

Today, on my second day at my new job, a customer called my manager with a complaint about me. He said I put the cheese "upside down" on his sandwich, and that made it taste bad. FML

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML

#21443162
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26061) - you deserved it (2992)

On 07/17/2015 at 7:04pm - misc - by AK-47 (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

#21442030
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33213) - you deserved it (2322)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML

#21439825
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27740) - you deserved it (2387)

On 07/10/2015 at 11:49pm - misc - by Julianapilikusplatosophophes (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years a few months ago, my boys convinced me to go out with the cute girl I had been talking to on Tinder. However, she wasn't cute, or a girl. He robbed me. FML

#21439092
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24774) - you deserved it (4669)

On 07/09/2015 at 3:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

#21428778
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20413) - you deserved it (12423)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to take my daughter to the ER. Her brother had bet she couldn't go the whole day without talking. So to win the bet, she tried to super-glue her lips together so she couldn't accidentally say anything. FML

Today, I'm actually starting to miss my former heroin addict neighbor because of how mellow he was compared to my new neighbors. FML

#21427797
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26283) - you deserved it (2087)

On 06/17/2015 at 10:07pm - money - by Rusty (woman) - United States (New York)



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