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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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scc666

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scc666
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3016
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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scc666's favorite FMLs

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

#4235904 (275)

I agree, your life sucks (52650) - you deserved it (3716)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (16747) - you deserved it (39911)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in the car with my husband complaining about the way I look. His response, "Babe, if I cared about the way you looked I wouldnt have married you." FML

#4052154 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (34645) - you deserved it (11498)

On 07/26/2009 at 11:16am - love - by JennaMarie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my coworkers decided to play a game of "Who Can Piss the Boss Off the Most". I opted not to play, but I still won. FML

#3956685 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (37008) - you deserved it (3735)

On 07/22/2009 at 5:09pm - work - by PokeTheBear (man) - Canada

Today, I was in the living room with my brother and his two older, hot friends when my mother walks out from the toilet and tells me, "Honey, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie wipe the seatie." Need I say more? FML

#3949576 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (38303) - you deserved it (11002)

On 07/22/2009 at 5:48am - misc - by Mortified (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML

#3796227 (588)

I agree, your life sucks (22241) - you deserved it (62862)

On 07/16/2009 at 6:16am - kids - by notawizard (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML

#3793812 (70)

I agree, your life sucks (32386) - you deserved it (4140)

On 07/16/2009 at 3:08am - misc - by joking0303 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my friend put a bunch of cheetos all over me at the beach while I was taking a nap. Next thing I know I'm being woken up by a bunch of seagulls attacking me. One pooped in my hair. FML

#3792988 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (34991) - you deserved it (3178)

On 07/16/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by kewlcat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said,"This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML

#3692539 (294)

I agree, your life sucks (38597) - you deserved it (8715)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by embarrassed (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

#3661940 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (36080) - you deserved it (4350)

On 07/11/2009 at 5:10am - work - by grannysmack (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML

#3593613 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (7673) - you deserved it (70324)

On 07/08/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

#3016666 (233)

I agree, your life sucks (10039) - you deserved it (72683)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me telling me I have problems communicating and that I didn't understand her. When I asked her why she didn't talk to me about this before she said "I didn't want to talk about it." FML

#2987293 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (41918) - you deserved it (2139)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a Dodger game with my crush. Between innings, the "Kiss cam" came up on the big screen. The camera happened to land on us, and when my crush saw us on the screen, he leaned away from me and buried his face in his hands. Everyone saw, and sympathetically said "Awww." FML

#2763801 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (45029) - you deserved it (2068)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by dodgerkiss (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing paintball when I noticed a 9 year old fat kid sitting and crying on the ground. Thinking he'd fallen and was hurt, I walked over to him. He looks up and shoots me in the face, arm, stomach, and happy sacks area from 4 feet away then runs off. He was not hurt at all, and now everything tastes like paint. FML

#2734001 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (36721) - you deserved it (5622)

On 06/09/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Woody - United States (Tennessee)