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About scarletdragonfly : 'Ello, children!
I sincerely apologize, but sometimes I can't help but be a grammar nazi. You youngins who use text lingo on the Internet can suck my balls.
I'm sarcastic a lot.
I try to be nice. :)
I usually use the app, so if you PM me, I won't see it for a long time. :|
I live in Oklahoma, but I'm not a hick. I don't like it much here.
I lovelovelovelove photography, traveling, music, and volleyball. And gummy candy. Preferably in blue. And Lady Gaga. (Shhh...) And I don't care about your race, sexual preference, or beliefs. I just care about whether or not you're awesome.
Now go fuck yourself. ;)
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Today, I updated my facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML
Today, while using the restroom at work, I dropped my keys into the toilet. I left to find something to get them out and figured nobody would use a toilet with keys in it. I came back to a bowl of dung and "Shit happens" written on the wall in lipstick. FML
Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like eachother. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says: "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML
Today, I was walking when I heard a car horn honk. I looked up to see a hot guy giving me a thumbs up. As he got a better look at me, he made a disgusted face and flipped his hand so he was giving me a thumbs down. FML
Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
Friday 19 December 2014