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sayraaaaah_

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sayraaaaah_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML

#14277581
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30661) - you deserved it (7343)

On 12/20/2010 at 9:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

#14263079
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37423) - you deserved it (5937)

On 12/19/2010 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by hotmommy -

Today, trying to be romantic, I started giving my boyfriend a neck massage. He gave me a weirded-out look, removed my hand, called me creep, and wouldn't let me touch him for the rest of the day. FML

#14251219
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26598) - you deserved it (4093)

On 12/18/2010 at 7:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my cute co-worker asked if he could use my computer. I told him my password and went to the bathroom. When I came back he said he'd finished. I tried to log in, but my password wouldn't work. I then noticed a post-it note on the desk saying, "Stop stalking me and I'll change the password back." FML

#13959673
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8769) - you deserved it (35026)

On 11/24/2010 at 8:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in my backyard goofing around when he tried to pick me up. He couldn't. I jokingly tried to lift him. I did so without much effort. FML

#13854165
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27946) - you deserved it (6501)

On 11/15/2010 at 4:17pm - love - by kylie (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while eating dinner with my family, I found out my boyfriend recorded me screaming while having sex with him on my phone, and set it as my ring tone on high volume. FML

#13822314
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31685) - you deserved it (5434)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML

#13787466
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47228) - you deserved it (17357)

On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at work, a woman fainted, and an extremely attractive cop came in to help. I ended up running into him an hour later. Seeing as though I'm not very shy or a nervous person, I struck up a conversation with him, thinking it must be fate. I ended up fumbling my words so much he asked if I was drunk. FML

#13733667
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23470) - you deserved it (6583)

On 11/06/2010 at 12:40am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML

#13536412
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35197) - you deserved it (6597)

On 10/21/2010 at 11:20am - misc - by maddiee. (woman) - Indonesia (Jakarta Raya)

Today, we were playing a game at work where whenever someone is in the washroom, we throw a 2 inch lug nut at the door because it makes a huge bang and scares whoever is in there. I was just opening the door to exit when someone threw the nut. It hit me in the face. FML

#13383261
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10833) - you deserved it (24329)

On 10/09/2010 at 8:57pm - health - by PunctureWound - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was lying on my recliner watching TV when I dropped the remote under the footrest. I got down on my hands and knees and pushed the footrest into the chair. The moment I touched the remote, the footrest deployed and hit me square in the face. FML

#13035925
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19782) - you deserved it (5521)

On 09/13/2010 at 3:33pm - misc - by Joplin - United Kingdom

Today, my neighbor came up to me, lowered her voice and said, "I suggest you buy some drapes for your bedroom dear..." When she started to walk away, she added, "...and a gym membership." FML

#12971497
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24186) - you deserved it (9310)

On 09/09/2010 at 12:33am - misc - by niccy (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, the speakers on my laptop weren't working. I worried I'd broken something, and started freaking out. I restarted my computer numerous times and played with the settings for an hour before calling my sister in to help. She looked at it for two seconds, then unplugged my headphones. FML

#7612223
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5299) - you deserved it (35461)

On 01/27/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

#7501218
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39789) - you deserved it (3387)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Funnymann - United States



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