sayraaaaah_

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Offline (the 05/01/2016 at 8:39pm)

sayraaaaah_

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  • Number of visits : 677
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sayraaaaah_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML

by Meowingtons500 / 11/27/2011 at 11:02pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up excited to go trick-or-treating, the treat being candy. Instead, my town has officially postponed Halloween due to blackouts. I guess this is where the trick comes in. FML

by anonymous / 10/31/2011 at 3:11pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my boyfriend I had an appointment for laser hair removal. He responded by making "pew pew" noises and pretending to shoot my underarms. He's 28. FML

by pixiebubz / 10/05/2011 at 11:59pm / Australia / Health

Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML

by nicole / 09/22/2011 at 6:31am / Reserved / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out while she was laying on me. Her little brother walked in, saw us and yelled, "Mom they're swallowing each other!" FML

by tony456 / 07/11/2011 at 5:08pm / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML

by anonymous / 07/05/2011 at 12:32am / United States (West Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my only motivation to get out of bed was cupcakes in the refrigerator. FML

by skigal24 / 05/30/2011 at 10:59am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML

by lionhead14 / 05/20/2011 at 3:05pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I were bouncing around on a trampoline. We brought my dog up to bounce him around. We found it hilarious. He didn't. He attacked us. FML

by sore / 04/19/2011 at 6:03am / Ireland (Limerick) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend set up a very romantic dinner. Afterwards, he offered to wash the dishes while I went upstairs and relaxed. His way of washing the dishes was to scrape all the food off, then wipe the juices off the dishes with a paper towel before putting them back in the cupboards. FML

by Myboyfriendisaromanticslob / 03/10/2011 at 12:09am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my coworker returned the camera I lent her. After plugging the camera into my PC, I saw a file was still on it. Wanting to make sure I didn't delete something important, I opened it. To my horror, it was a video of my coworker pleasuring herself. She's old enough to be my mother. FML

by Traumatized / 03/05/2011 at 2:57pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Intimacy

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2011 at 2:35am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Love

Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML

by ash / 01/14/2011 at 1:22pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to take our first shower together. When he came into the room, he had swimming trunks on. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2010 at 1:21am / Intimacy