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sayraaaaah_

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sayraaaaah_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML

#18371495
113 comments

Today, I woke up excited to go trick-or-treating, the treat being candy. Instead, my town has officially postponed Halloween due to blackouts. I guess this is where the trick comes in. FML

#18121286
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22498) - you deserved it (3234)

On 10/31/2011 at 3:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my boyfriend I had an appointment for laser hair removal. He responded by making "pew pew" noises and pretending to shoot my underarms. He's 28. FML

#17916537
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13011) - you deserved it (25380)

On 10/05/2011 at 11:59pm - health - by pixiebubz - Australia

Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML

#17803016
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35439) - you deserved it (4921)

On 09/22/2011 at 6:31am - love - by nicole - Reserved

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out while she was laying on me. Her little brother walked in, saw us and yelled, "Mom they're swallowing each other!" FML

#17068940
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27368) - you deserved it (22505)

On 07/11/2011 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by tony456 (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML

#16980520
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9616) - you deserved it (66370)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my only motivation to get out of bed was cupcakes in the refrigerator. FML

#16416160
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27893) - you deserved it (15033)

On 05/30/2011 at 10:59am - health - by skigal24 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML

#16267774
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11460) - you deserved it (37453)

On 05/20/2011 at 3:05pm - misc - by lionhead14 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my friend and I were bouncing around on a trampoline. We brought my dog up to bounce him around. We found it hilarious. He didn't. He attacked us. FML

#15844364
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8903) - you deserved it (75631)

On 04/19/2011 at 6:03am - animals - by sore (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, my boyfriend set up a very romantic dinner. Afterwards, he offered to wash the dishes while I went upstairs and relaxed. His way of washing the dishes was to scrape all the food off, then wipe the juices off the dishes with a paper towel before putting them back in the cupboards. FML

#15257767
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28079) - you deserved it (5931)

On 03/10/2011 at 12:09am - misc - by Myboyfriendisaromanticslob (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my coworker returned the camera I lent her. After plugging the camera into my PC, I saw a file was still on it. Wanting to make sure I didn't delete something important, I opened it. To my horror, it was a video of my coworker pleasuring herself. She's old enough to be my mother. FML

#15207126
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41824) - you deserved it (5599)

On 03/05/2011 at 2:57pm - intimacy - by Traumatized (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

#15024554
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39821) - you deserved it (4309)

On 02/18/2011 at 2:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

#14610611
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14407) - you deserved it (36820) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML

#14577933
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31268) - you deserved it (14633)

On 01/14/2011 at 1:22pm - misc - by ash (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to take our first shower together. When he came into the room, he had swimming trunks on. FML

#14404021
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34378) - you deserved it (5014)

On 12/31/2010 at 1:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -



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