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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was stopped by a cop while walking down the street. He was slowly trailing me before pulling along side of me and asking how my night was going. He then said, "You know I can't let you do this. Know those new jeans you bought? The sticker is still on the leg" and drove off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7352) - you deserved it (23762)
On 10/06/2009 at 3:12am - misc - by limecat (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend's dad asked me if I wanted to drive his 2008 Jaguar XKR. Excitedly, I agreed. He then spent the next hour discussing with me how masturbation is a great alternative to sex, and a great way to remain abstinent. I didn't get to drive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49350) - you deserved it (3639)
On 05/24/2009 at 8:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43561) - you deserved it (1614)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:31am - misc - by verycre8tive (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14019) - you deserved it (85825)
On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83540) - you deserved it (3660)
On 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my fiancé proposed to me at the movies. The movie stopped in the middle, and my fiancé stands up, takes out a microphone and announces to the entire theatre that he loves me. Right when he went on one knee, someone shouts, "Turn the movie back on!", and throws a cup of coke at my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64216) - you deserved it (10298)
On 05/10/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up happier than I've ever been because last night I hooked up with the girl I have loved for almost a year and I thought I would never get with her. This morning I saw that her status on Facebook was "FML". FML
I agree, your life sucks (68330) - you deserved it (5843)
On 05/09/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML
I agree, your life sucks (115431) - you deserved it (28325)
On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Monday 17 June 2013
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