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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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sawdy

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sawdy
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 18778
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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sawdy's last visitors

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sawdy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was stopped by a cop while walking down the street. He was slowly trailing me before pulling along side of me and asking how my night was going. He then said, "You know I can't let you do this. Know those new jeans you bought? The sticker is still on the leg" and drove off. FML

#5677989 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (6801) - you deserved it (22473)

On 10/06/2009 at 3:12am - misc - by limecat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend's dad asked me if I wanted to drive his 2008 Jaguar XKR. Excitedly, I agreed. He then spent the next hour discussing with me how masturbation is a great alternative to sex, and a great way to remain abstinent. I didn't get to drive. FML

#2235853 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (46725) - you deserved it (2863)

On 05/24/2009 at 8:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML

#2137630 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (41713) - you deserved it (1460)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:31am - misc - by verycre8tive (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

#1930454 (224)

I agree, your life sucks (12152) - you deserved it (68477)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

#1872793 (229)

I agree, your life sucks (75181) - you deserved it (3287)

On 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my fiance proposed to me at the movies. The movie stopped in the middle, and my fiance stands up, takes out a microphone and announces to the entire theatre that he loves me. Right when he went on one knee, someone shouts, "Turn the movie back on!", and throws a cup of coke at my head. FML

#1832318 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (60439) - you deserved it (9540)

On 05/10/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up happier than I've ever been because last night I hooked up with the girl I have loved for almost a year and I thought I would never get with her. This morning I saw that her status on Facebook was "FML". FML

#1782670 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (62392) - you deserved it (4462)

On 05/09/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (105336) - you deserved it (26749)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)