Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About savannahmckay69 : im an abzelute sik kehnt n u suk pniz
lol c'è la vie, keep telling yourself that.
oh why am i so rude?
your the first here ever, in eternity so;
hello there. -
5 THINGS TO TELL YOU QUICK GO
okay- my favourite colour is red. Secondly, Im not really a testosterone-filled specimen I just prefer you to address me as mister - you filthy peasant.
Thirdly, I like: English literature, Italy, italian soccer, soccer, sleeping, b3in @ $uP3r Co01 B1oG93r, playing x-box 360, taking perf. pics and watching Sherlock Holmes and plenty more.
And fourthly, I try to live by a guideline; never reveal ev-er-ything you know.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML
Today, I was upset because my brother, who I'm very close to, didn't call me for my birthday yesterday. I told my mom about it, and we both immediately went silent on the phone, as we both realized she forgot to call me yesterday as well. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
Wednesday 28 January 2015