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satoshiabe's favorite FMLs
by author / 02/14/2014 at 9:28pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML
by mom / 01/25/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by yes i meant ex-boyfriend / 01/18/2014 at 4:09pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love
by dylanhollis / 01/17/2014 at 7:49am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/15/2014 at 8:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took a nap in my car right after finishing up at work. I was woken up by a hobo sitting in the passenger seat, watching me sleep. Apparently, he'd managed to unlock the door with a wire hanger. FML
by ShelterForTheHomless / 01/13/2014 at 10:31pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years finally proposed to me at the park we first met in. As I was about to say yes, a huge fly flew straight into my mouth. I ruined the moment by choking on it and eventually spitting it out on him. I think he's rethinking the proposal. FML
by spitball101 / 01/12/2014 at 12:26am / Australia / Love
by lk mm, n vwls / 01/10/2014 at 8:20pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
by wtf / 01/10/2014 at 11:47am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by loganHchrist / 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/07/2014 at 4:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Z3R0G5 / 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals
Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML
by Anonymous / 01/05/2014 at 12:30am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML
by Anonymous / 07/20/2013 at 11:45am / United States (Delaware) / Work
Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML
by Dirty_Mind_69 / 07/20/2013 at 4:35am / United States (Louisiana) / Work
- Today, I went over to my crush's house for the first time. Everything was going great until his dog… Today I got a question from a guest at work. I work as a scenic tour pilot and our airplanes have a… Today, I was talking to a boy I'm interested in and tried to make conversation while taking a sip…