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satega

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satega
  • Town/Country : sacramento, usa
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 26 May 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 131
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 42 posted

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satega's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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satega's favorite FMLs

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44643) - you deserved it (4864)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54793) - you deserved it (6482)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31116) - you deserved it (105854)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36742) - you deserved it (9883)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my family went on a family trip without me. Their reason for not bringing me? My older sister wanted extra legroom during the drive. FML

Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML

#20166313
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21624) - you deserved it (2676)

On 11/17/2012 at 4:15am - work - by satega - United States (Missouri)

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21982) - you deserved it (3361)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I watched my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come here Mollie" at his back door. I then saw my own cat run into his house. I now know why my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie. I guess I'm being cheated on. FML

#20158567
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20228) - you deserved it (2167)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:10am - animals - by kitty - Australia

Today, a woman on the train demanded I give up my seat for her, claiming it was for people with disabilities. Tired from a long day at work, and seeing she had nothing wrong with her, I asked what her disability was. Apparently, obesity is one. FML

#20152323
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22612) - you deserved it (1281)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by NotAnExcuse (woman) - United States

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

#20140057
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21755) - you deserved it (3948)

On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23018) - you deserved it (2151)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML

#20139255
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26323) - you deserved it (4490)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

#20116347
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17226) - you deserved it (2117)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24603) - you deserved it (11925)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7860) - you deserved it (29336)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)



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