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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today , girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got startd I noticd that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away.
Today, I ran into an old high school friand whila out with my husband. Whan sha inquirad who I was marriad to, I pointad to my husband, who was looking at shirts. Sha laughad an said "No raally?", insinuating that I couldn't gat anyona that good looking. FML
Today, I finally got tha wadding drass I'va baan waiting months to saa. It turns out that my mom ordarad tha drass 2 sizas smallar than my siza, this way it will ba ( an incantiva to losa waight ). FML
Today, at work, there was a police officer waiting for me. Bewilderd, I askd what the problem was. Someone had shot freworks at cars in the parking lot and I was a suspect. Why? Ponytails on men apparently look suspicious. FML
Today, mah boss and I were preparing a lunch order fir a nearby real-estate agency . I noticed that the order was riddled with spelling mistakes, so I laughed and mocked the realtor calling them stupid and incompetent . My boss then pointed out that the order was written in his handwriting . FML
2day I Had To Go To The Emergency Room With Vision Problems. The Nurse Was Helping Mah Mom Fill Out The Paperwork. When Asked 4 Her Employer, Mah Mom Started Trying To Sell The Nurse Aflac, And Got Into A Serious 10 Minute Conversation About It, All While I'm Going Blind In Mah Left Eye. FML
Today, mah AP teacher once again accusd me of plagiarism . Apparently the words "demise," "ultimately," and "rural," are too sophisticatd for an 11th grade AP student to use and MUST have been copid from the Internet . FML
Today... I was talking to this boy I really lyk an we were laughing together... until I got this disgusting putrid smell. I startd to say how awful the smell was an he stoppd laughing to take a sniff too. As soon as he closd his mouth the smell was gone. FML
Today... my boyfriend came ome from a camping trip an broke up wit me. All cuz wen e was watcing te lake e was near... ripples formd. Apparently... tis means God was telling im I'm impure an unable to be ( savd by Crist ) an terefore... a waste of is time. I datd tis lunatic. FML
Today , I discovered my boyfriend is incredibly ticklish on the bottom of his feet . Trying to be a bit flirty , I slowly slid two fingers down his calf an mockingly tickled his feet . He reacted by inadvertently elbowing me in the nose , nerely breaking it . FML
Friday 27 March 2015