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sasonzal's FML badges
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sasonzal's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got started I noticed that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away. FML
by henry feingold / 06/10/2011 at 12:08am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML
by Angelica / 05/25/2011 at 11:19pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, at work, there was a police officer waiting for me. Bewildered, I asked what the problem was. Someone had shot fireworks at cars in the parking lot and I was a suspect. Why? Ponytails on men apparently look suspicious. FML
by wtffireworks! / 05/25/2011 at 10:10pm / United States / Work
Today, my boss and I were preparing a lunch order for a nearby real-estate agency. I noticed that the order was riddled with spelling mistakes, so I laughed and mocked the realtors calling them stupid and incompetent. My boss then pointed out that the order was written in his handwriting. FML
by Anonymous / 05/25/2011 at 9:55am / Australia (Tasmania) / Work
Today, I had to go to the emergency room with vision problems. The nurse was helping my mom fill out the paperwork. When asked for her employer, my mom started trying to sell the nurse Aflac, and got into a serious 10 minute conversation about it, all while I'm going blind in my left eye. FML
by Catherine / 05/23/2011 at 3:33pm / United States (Georgia) / Health
Today, my AP teacher once again accused me of plagiarism. Apparently the words "demise," "ultimately," and "rural," are too sophisticated for an 11th grade AP student to use and MUST have been copied from the Internet. FML
by dumbteacher / 05/23/2011 at 10:35am / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking to this boy I really like and we were laughing together, until I got this disgusting putrid smell. I started to say how awful the smell was and he stopped laughing to take a sniff too. As soon as he closed his mouth the smell was gone. FML
by ninalian / 05/22/2011 at 2:30am / United States (Puerto Rico) / Health
Today, I went over to a guy's house for dinner. He ended up getting really drunk and started crying, telling me that I reminded him of his dead ferret. Distraught, he tearfully showed me her ashes. FML
by SophieGray / 05/20/2011 at 7:33pm / United States (New York) / Animals
by forkmylife / 05/19/2011 at 6:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/14/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Louisiana) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend came home from a camping trip and broke up with me. All because when he was watching the lake he was near, ripples formed. Apparently, this means God was telling him I'm impure and unable to be "saved by Christ" and therefore, a waste of his time. I dated this lunatic. FML
by dammitvasquez / 05/12/2011 at 7:34pm / Canada / Love
Today, I discovered my boyfriend is incredibly ticklish on the bottom of his feet. Trying to be a bit flirty, I slowly slid two fingers down his calf and mockingly tickled his feet. He reacted by inadvertently elbowing me in the nose, nearly breaking it. FML
by Anonymous / 05/11/2011 at 10:10am / Australia / Health
by theyarefarapart / 05/09/2011 at 3:05am / Miscellaneous
- Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel… Today, I was fooling around a bit with my girlfriend while cooking dinner when she said, "Don't get… Today, I found out the guy I've been dating for 5 months is engaged to his girlfriend of 3 years. I…