sasonzal

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sasonzal

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3844
  • Number of comments : 153
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

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sasonzal's page activity

Visits<b>grajax</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 1:02am<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 7:12pm<b>Skarlun</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 5:00am<b>jackthekeeper</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 5:12pm<b>Bibblejomin</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 10:23pm<b>seetei</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:41am<b>Toolishing</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 9:25am<b>TheDvsOne</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 10:15am<b>blairwaldorfbass</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 4:34am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 10:27am<b>clairesucks</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 8:45am<b>mikepzz</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 6:29pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 5:12am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 2:26pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 11:02pm<b>buckydargon</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Pedregon30</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 12:21am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 10:45am

sasonzal's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of sasonzal's badges

sasonzal's favorite FMLs

Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 7:06am / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Miscellaneous

Today, I helped an elderly lady unscrew the cooling tank's cap from her smoking car. My reward? A scalding shower of toxic, pungent antifreeze that erupted moments after removing said cap. She didn't even thank me. FML

by thoughtcrimeno1 / 07/06/2011 at 1:27am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, for breakfast, there were scrambled eggs, boiled eggs, bacon, sausages, fresh bread, croissants, brownies, donuts, fruit smoothie, coffee, tea and orange juice. Too bad no one bothered wake me up. FML

by Gustav Fjorder / 07/04/2011 at 3:27am / Switzerland / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to sing a sweet lullaby to my two year old son. In the process, he smacked me in the face and told me to please stop. My sister sings to him all the time and he loves it. FML

by dee / 07/03/2011 at 1:36am / United States / Kids

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

by Cowgirl_Up37 / 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I thought my brother was playing with my new phone, he was actually texting a bunch of my friends that I have chlamydia. He deleted his texts so I wouldn't see them, and I spent a half-hour trying to figure out why I kept getting texts of shock and sympathy. We're both in our 20's. FML

by Anonymouse / 07/02/2011 at 3:42am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I thought my brother was playing with my new phone, he was actually texting a bunch of my friends that I have chlamydia. He deleted his texts so I wouldn't see them, and I spent a half-hour trying to figure out why I kept getting texts of shock and sympathy. We're both in our 20's. FML

by Anonymouse / 07/02/2011 at 3:42am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I thought my brother was playing with my new phone, he was actually texting a bunch of my friends that I have chlamydia. He deleted his texts so I wouldn't see them, and I spent a half-hour trying to figure out why I kept getting texts of shock and sympathy. We're both in our 20's. FML

by Anonymouse / 07/02/2011 at 3:42am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML

by lamortdeshommes / 06/28/2011 at 1:03pm / United States / Love

Today, I found out that my dad has been trying to take money out of my savings account to pay for divorce fees and a hammock. FML

by Username / 06/23/2011 at 4:17am / United States / Money

Today, I had to address a flatulence issue with an employee. Other employees are complaining about the smell. I have to continue addressing the issue until it stops. So far, I've talked to her about it 4 times. No end in sight. FML

by luroluro / 06/23/2011 at 4:17am / United States / Work

Today, I complimented a girl on her stockings pattern. Turns out she wasn't wearing stockings. FML

by jordeshting / 06/22/2011 at 11:28am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my bike abruptly stopped working, torpedoing me headfirst into the sidewalk. I lay there in agony for a few minutes, and the only guy who saw it happen said, "Lucky you didn't get hurt!" FML

by Tequila / 06/20/2011 at 12:12pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Health

Today, I woke up with a high fever and hallucinations. I called for my mother, who after checking me, swore that I was just hungover from a night of partying, called me a "f*cking hedonist", and refused to help. FML

by Anna / 06/18/2011 at 12:54pm / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Health

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches," your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

by MakeMeASandwich / 06/10/2011 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Work