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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, a bunch of guys at work chased me down a corridor with a Febreze spray for smelling like I'd been "sleeping in a hollowed-out horse's carcass" and having "the personal hygiene of a billy goat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7066) - you deserved it (36926)
On 07/28/2011 at 4:15am - work - by Champion the wonder horse - United States
Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25516) - you deserved it (2256)
On 07/25/2011 at 10:10am - misc - by Bec (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21305) - you deserved it (6707)
On 07/25/2011 at 2:43am - intimacy - by best_friend - United States (Texas)
Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8737) - you deserved it (27783)
On 07/24/2011 at 5:01pm - misc - by cadillacfrank - United States
Today, I found out that my boyfriend poops with "This is war" playing on his phone, and makes war sounds corresponding with his poop dropping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23330) - you deserved it (3157)
On 07/23/2011 at 3:49am - love - by MaHalKiTa (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after returning home from a camping trip, I found a leech on my love spuds. I ended up having to call my dad in to help me get it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24253) - you deserved it (3219)
On 07/22/2011 at 8:57pm - intimacy - by jab43 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35255) - you deserved it (7732)
On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States
Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26835) - you deserved it (1961)
On 07/21/2011 at 10:10am - health - by blah (man) - United States
Today, I was sitting waiting for my train for a long while. When it finally came, I had pins and needles in my foot. When I got up, I fell and unsuccessfully stumbled towards the train. The doors closed and it left without me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21619) - you deserved it (3014)
On 07/21/2011 at 6:43am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28135) - you deserved it (6461)
On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, I got a call from a creditor asking for a Sarah. I told them that I'm not Sarah, nor do I know one. They then asked if she was my wife. Annoyed, I said, "Alright, when did I get a wife? I don't even remember having a girlfriend." They sniggered and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20391) - you deserved it (5056)
On 07/19/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Miriden - United States
Today, my friends and I went to the park for some planking. Trying to find a daring spot, I climbed a tree and laid down on a branch. While I was waiting for my friends to take a picture, the branch gave out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7253) - you deserved it (40158)
On 07/14/2011 at 3:17pm - misc - by Stephanie - United States (California)
Today, I found out that the landscaping job I started three weeks ago is actually for an illicit business run by a hippie who pissed away the entire payroll to fund his drug habit. He has no way of coughing up the $900 he owes me. I'm broke as hell, and my electricity is now going to get cut off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29492) - you deserved it (3055)
On 07/08/2011 at 8:12pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my family got together to read my grandpa's will. He gave all of his grandkids $400 each. Except me. It seems he thought I'd see the funny side in being bequeathed a blow-up sex doll. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30408) - you deserved it (4146)
On 07/08/2011 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Jack - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24567) - you deserved it (4471)
On 07/08/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Username - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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