sasonzal

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sasonzal

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3843
  • Number of comments : 153
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

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sasonzal's page activity

Visits<b>grajax</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 1:02am<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 7:12pm<b>Skarlun</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 5:00am<b>jackthekeeper</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 5:12pm<b>Bibblejomin</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 10:23pm<b>seetei</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:41am<b>Toolishing</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 9:25am<b>TheDvsOne</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 10:15am<b>blairwaldorfbass</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 4:34am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 10:27am<b>clairesucks</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 8:45am<b>mikepzz</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 6:29pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 5:12am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 2:26pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 11:02pm<b>buckydargon</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Pedregon30</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 12:21am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 10:45am

sasonzal's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of sasonzal's badges

sasonzal's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the piece of vacant land I purchased for $20,000 is illegal to build a house on, due to acreage restrictions. Thank you, realtor. FML

by Anonymous / 06/28/2012 at 12:53pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I was assigned to work on a huge project with Michael. Michael refers to himself in the third person, constantly mumbles unintelligibly to himself, doesn't smile, laugh or make eye contact, and refuses to address me directly. I'll be stuck with him for about four months. FML

by NoMagicMike / 06/27/2012 at 12:53pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, someone rang my doorbell. The moment I opened the door, a smell not unlike a cascading torrent of rotting flesh and urine hit my nostrils. I stood there for an eternity as a homeless man leaned on my door and desperately tried to convince me to buy an array of scrap metal from him. FML

by noquiero / 06/21/2012 at 2:13pm / United Kingdom (Durham) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm driving cross-country with my parents. As if the stifling heat isn't bad enough, they keep stopping to admire, comment on, and practically do a photoshoot in every corn field we pass. FML

by gabby / 06/16/2012 at 4:36pm / United States / Holidays

Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2012 at 4:59pm / United Kingdom (Croydon) / Health

Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML

by idontgetit / 06/12/2012 at 7:39pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, a hobo shook me down for money on the street. He's my brother, who incidentally ran away from home over two years ago. FML

by Sarah / 06/12/2012 at 12:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

by amidreaming?? / 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, the heat rash that has been devouring my side for the last week was revealed to be something much worse: shingles. FML

by ivannooze / 07/29/2011 at 5:40pm / United States / Health

Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML

by Tallulah / 07/29/2011 at 2:56am / United Kingdom (Croydon) / Love

Today, my wife threw a piece of tofu cake at my head for suggesting that the money she'd spent on magic "healing" crystals and homeopathic "remedies" would've just as well been spent on a chocolate teapot. FML

by notabeliever / 07/29/2011 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got the worst sunburn I've ever had in my life, and then discovered I'm allergic to aloe when I went to treat the burn with some gel. FML

by Username / 07/28/2011 at 5:36pm / United States / Health

Today, I got into an argument with a militantly feminist co-worker of mine. She threw several vulgar insults at me and debased the entire male gender before storming off. I'd only asked if she needed help while she was doing a crossword. FML

by Rick / 07/28/2011 at 6:51am / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, a bunch of guys at work chased me down a corridor with a Febreze spray for smelling like I'd been "sleeping in a hollowed-out horse's carcass" and having "the personal hygiene of a billy goat." FML

by Champion the wonder horse / 07/28/2011 at 4:15am / United States / Work