This member hasn't filled in the description.
I NEED to know!
You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Today, I gave my wife a cat. The first thing it did when it got out of the box was scratch the sh*t out of my leg. Next, it ran up to my wife and purred. She said, "Good cat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45499) - you deserved it (7572)
On 05/11/2009 at 8:38am - animals - by prevostsrocklike - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (84834) - you deserved it (16570)
On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (198455) - you deserved it (38559)
On 05/05/2009 at 11:37am - animals - by Rhyno - United States (New York)
Today, I was rollerblading in the university gardens and taking pictures. A worker started to yell at me, and I told him that I had perfect control and could stay on the sidewalk. As I turned to skate away, I faceplanted into a bed of prized rare flowers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6278) - you deserved it (43114)
On 04/30/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by krizleykrislo - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (166871) - you deserved it (6645)
On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25874) - you deserved it (228883)
On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82220) - you deserved it (30308)
On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (63504) - you deserved it (16089)
On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my siblings came home for the weekend. At dinner, my dad started complaining at how one of my siblings had gotten fired, one was failing college, and the other was gay. He went on to say I was 17 and already had a bright future. I'm pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41074) - you deserved it (46718)
On 04/03/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML
I agree, your life sucks (277648) - you deserved it (21819)
On 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33530) - you deserved it (146889)
On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
I agree, your life sucks (109961) - you deserved it (14731)
On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32953) - you deserved it (383275)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by PicturePerfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71445) - you deserved it (16796)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm - intimacy - by Menareidiots (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found a bone in my sandwich. It was a veggie burger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34477) - you deserved it (5569)
On 02/13/2009 at 9:45am - misc - by veggiegal (woman) - United States (Vermont)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
