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Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12977) - you deserved it (945)
On 11/12/2012 at 12:25am - health - by KtSue - United States
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20513) - you deserved it (1713)
On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21837) - you deserved it (4939) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 09/21/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by minibuch1505 - Sent from mobile version
Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21498) - you deserved it (2015)
On 07/09/2012 at 3:06am - misc - by wetandnaked (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got threatened with a gun through the drive thru speaker because I didn't offer some guy any pies to go with his meal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18328) - you deserved it (1969)
On 03/17/2012 at 12:37am - work - by CDeVeney92 - United States (Texas)
Today, at my job serving, I went to clear the plates when the guy said, "Hold on a second." Thinking he wasn't quite finished, I went to put the plate back. He then reached in to his mouth, pulled out a dark brown object and threw it on the plate. It was a rotten tooth. I almost puked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25131) - you deserved it (1420)
On 09/15/2011 at 3:36am - work - by Tancred (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, it's my birthday. Out of loneliness, I went to order some flowers and a cake "for a friend". The guy who delivered it to my house was the same guy from the counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25141) - you deserved it (9170)
Today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. My husband, the father of the baby, got a birdie on the golf course at the exact same time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35727) - you deserved it (3899)
On 04/27/2011 at 1:07pm - love - by Sammy - United States (Texas)
Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37748) - you deserved it (2852)
On 04/07/2011 at 3:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, I was in the shower 'grooming' myself for my second anniversary with my boyfriend. Halfway through the hot water ran out. I now have the choice of going with the low 'half-fro' or risking hypothermia. My boyfriend thinks hypothermia would be the better option. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12144) - you deserved it (18102)
On 04/03/2011 at 5:35am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my toddler stood up in the shopping cart and fell giving himself a black eye. Later while at a restaurant he tried to stand up in his highchair. I quickly blurted out "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. Now the waiter wont stop glaring at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33283) - you deserved it (7641)
On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54093) - you deserved it (3805)
On 12/02/2010 at 8:20am - love - by mrdentist -
Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31997) - you deserved it (11292)
Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, 'I wish you liked anal.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (15889) - you deserved it (27944)
On 11/12/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by lisacasabonita (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50188) - you deserved it (2531) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Monday 17 June 2013
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