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sarahannewrap's favorite FMLs
by SadFace / 02/21/2013 at 8:04am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML
by Acolyte of the Bacon God / 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by lex / 02/14/2013 at 6:01am / United States / Love
by okay then / 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML
by Anonymous / 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I spoke to my crush for the first time, and after a while he asked for my number. Ecstatic, I took the first piece of paper I saw out of my purse. I wrote it down and gave it to him, but he handed it back and said, "You might need this." It was an appointment card for my therapist. FML
by sofuckingembarassing. / 02/11/2013 at 2:19pm / United States / Love
by mydadsgonnakillme / 02/08/2013 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by PokeWife / 02/06/2013 at 8:38am / United States (Nebraska) / Love
by Experience / 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by theawfulpresent / 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
by ohfuckwaffles / 01/29/2013 at 12:28am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by LucidNightmare / 01/27/2013 at 12:38am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went shopping first thing in the morning to avoid the crowd. Having recently had surgery on my knee, I used an electric scooter to shop. The scooter died in the middle of the store. No one was around to help me. FML
by crippled shopper / 01/27/2013 at 12:23am / United States (Illinois) / Health
by swollenpenis / 01/25/2013 at 1:11am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML
by awkwardturtle / 01/25/2013 at 12:31am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…
- Today, my roommates decided to hold an intervention. They told me I would have to break up with my… Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my… Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!"…