sarah__tehe__

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sarah__tehe__

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4579
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About sarah__tehe__ : Guys are dicks, girls are bitches. So either way, everyone's f***ed. This website is very appropriate......

sarah__tehe__'s page activity

Visits<b>tikatica</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 12:02pm<b>_kristaaxo</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 3:54am<b>Schala360</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 7:39am<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 8:51am<b>MalekiMaker99</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 1:26pm<b>MiguelRojas</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 8:38pm<b>osr215</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 10:48am<b>SirMiniHobbit</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 5:42am<b>spiers1</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 5:20am<b>Tonenator1930</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 3:35pm<b>killjoyprtypsn</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 2:35pm<b>TheCamaraderie</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 6:46pm<b>kjblack</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 3:06am<b>Lovin_Lyfee</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 3:36pm<b>brody45</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 5:15am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:00pm<b>fatman1970</b> - the 03/30/2010 at 8:30am<b>Flea</b> - the 09/26/2009 at 3:03pm

Fucked!<b>_kristaaxo</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 9:54am<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 2:51pm

sarah__tehe__'s FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

sarah__tehe__'s favorite FMLs

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a 'talk.' Now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML

by anon / 03/08/2009 at 4:47am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

by Dang-ItsDanielle / 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I couldn't answer almost any of the questions in the game "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?" I'm a 40 year old man. FML

by laywer_man / 03/07/2009 at 1:43am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I went to get my eyebrows waxed at a korean salon. I have never been there before and it's hard to understand their accents. The women asked me if I wanted "them all off". Not fully understanding what she said, I agreed. When she showed me the mirror, she had taken off my whole eyebrow. FML

by brows / 03/03/2009 at 5:47pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she would give me a blowjob. She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML

by Sal / 03/03/2009 at 1:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting beside this cute guy on a bench. Suddenly, he goes, "I know we don't know each other very well, but would you like to have dinner on Saturday?" I turn to him with a goofy smile, and exclaim "I'D LOVE TO!" He gives me a weird look, turns his head and points to his Bluetooth. FML

by asdfasdf / 03/03/2009 at 10:38am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I was sitting beside this cute guy on a bench. Suddenly, he goes, "I know we don't know each other very well, but would you like to have dinner on Saturday?" I turn to him with a goofy smile, and exclaim "I'D LOVE TO!" He gives me a weird look, turns his head and points to his Bluetooth. FML

by asdfasdf / 03/03/2009 at 10:38am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, the men clearing the walkway outside my dorm room, with a snowblower didn't realize that my window was open. I looked over from my computer to see snow shooting in, covering my clock, closet, and radio. And now it's melting. FML

by gr8terevil / 03/02/2009 at 2:06pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family gathered at my 96 year old great-grandmother's surprise birthday party that was my idea. When she walked in, we surprised her so much that she literally had a heart attack. She is now in the hospital. FML

by Ashley J. / 03/01/2009 at 5:04pm / United States (West Virginia) / Health

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML

by Monty / 03/01/2009 at 3:45am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, me and my girlfriend got into a fight. After giving my genius response to one of her asinine comments, I stormed out of the store, having the last word. Ten minutes later she comes out to find me in the parking lot. My car wouldn't start. She texts me "Karma's a bitch" then drives away. FML

by Not so quick getaway. / 02/28/2009 at 2:55am / United States (Virginia) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I wore out the highest heels I had but was nervous about falling because I am such a klutz. I got through the night without any injuries, so I changed into the sneakers I had brought with me to walk home. I tripped right outside my house in my sneakers and broke my ankle. FML

by klutz / 02/27/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met this really attractive guy who introduced himself as Wyan. He was really cool and sweet and we got along pretty well. Then someone informed me that his name is Ryan and that he has a speech impediment, AFTER I had been referring to him as Wyan for quite some time. FML

by hellosaila / 02/27/2009 at 2:58am / United States (California) / Love