Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sarah__tehe__

Search for a member

sarah__tehe__

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2931
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About sarah__tehe__ : Guys are dicks, girls are bitches. So either way, everyone's f***ed. This website is very appropriate......

sarah__tehe__'s page activity

Visits<b>spiers1</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 5:20am<b>Tonenator1930</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 3:35pm<b>killjoyprtypsn</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 2:35pm<b>TheCamaraderie</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 6:46pm<b>kjblack</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 3:06am<b>Lovin_Lyfee</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 3:36pm<b>brody45</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 5:15am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:00pm<b>fatman1970</b> - the 03/30/2010 at 8:30am<b>Flea</b> - the 09/26/2009 at 3:03pm<b>DarkMirror</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 1:41pm<b>Madman85</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 5:06am<b>xabuko</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 12:03am<b>KTteaspoon</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 10:19pm<b>Xtreme_Climber</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 8:37pm<b>muffy_da_bear</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 3:35pm<b>hypothetically</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 10:07am<b>Snaphoot</b> - the 05/06/2009 at 2:04am

sarah__tehe__'s FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

sarah__tehe__'s favorite FMLs

Today, at my grandmothers funeral I tried my hardest not to cry, only allowing tears to fall and not making any noise, to be respectful at her funeral. Afterwards, my mother tells my father that I didn't cry, which obviously meant that I didn't love my grandmother and had no soul. FML

#1303063
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58654) - you deserved it (4173)

On 04/24/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by baddream (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML

#1288904
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12155) - you deserved it (59825)

On 04/24/2009 at 1:20pm - health - by JohnFarrell (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML

#1286671
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24917) - you deserved it (84256)

On 04/24/2009 at 11:18am - animals - by Anonymousagb (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I received my camera in the mail that my mom sent from home since I forgot it when I moved to Italy. It was wrapped in 4 layers of bubble wrap and packed in foam peanuts to keep it from getting broken. As I was removing the last layer of bubble wrap I dropped it, breaking the screen. FML

#1283433
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27105) - you deserved it (43366)

On 04/24/2009 at 3:25am - misc - by raerae (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML

#1278797
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42254) - you deserved it (6277)

On 04/23/2009 at 11:53pm - misc - by NoFightResponse (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got dressed in what I thought was a really adorable outfit. I had a cute pink skirt on, a white tank top and silver strappy sandal heels. On my way to the mall a car pulls over and this guy asks me how much for three hours. FML

#1259995
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27839) - you deserved it (70341)

On 04/23/2009 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by gabormelchior (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML

#1259503
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69833) - you deserved it (8086)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by snotface (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to go to my 10 year old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face , "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

#1253914
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59198) - you deserved it (5394)

On 04/23/2009 at 11:51am - work - by helen_ (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I didn't wear my contacts. Determined to prove to my friends I didn't need them, I read all the signs in sight. I couldn't read a particular one, so I began to walk closer. Suddenly I fell on my face, bruising my cheekbone. The sign said: "Caution: Watch Your Step." FML

#1248987
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12003) - you deserved it (59208)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by notexactly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML

#1214508
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78519) - you deserved it (5334)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by RockedSystem - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (479837) - you deserved it (29256)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut MandMs at work, when I exclaimed "oh cool, they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes, but I eventually realized that I was looking at a regular MandM sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers' uncontrollable laughter. FML

#1023184
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12486) - you deserved it (69280)

On 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by StewPit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally hooked up with a guy I've been hanging out with for 2 months. Afterwards, while we're getting dressed he says "You better be clean. If you're not tell me now so I dont pass it on to my girlfriend." Stunned, all I could say was, "Girlfriend?!" His reply, "Well technically my fiancée." FML

#992330
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71221) - you deserved it (12794)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by oops123 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I backed my car into a parked car in a parking lot. Not only did I back into a parked car, but it was the ONLY parked car there. FML

#991895
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13840) - you deserved it (66552)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, during dress rehearsal before the show, I came in with crutches pretending I broke my leg as a joke. I then threw away the crutches, laughed and then fell down some stairs. I am now in crutches with a broken leg. I was the lead. FML

#966838
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17711) - you deserved it (85688)

On 04/14/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by seussical65 (man) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: