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sandyclaus

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sandyclaus
  • Town/Country : Sunny California, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 749
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sandyclaus's favorite FMLs

Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML

#19102650
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18381) - you deserved it (4885)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML

#19101207
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33777) - you deserved it (5317)

On 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by 97 (woman) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old boyfriend why it is not okay to pee in the pool. FML

#19099284
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19950) - you deserved it (4571)

On 02/17/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by nycol (woman) - Australia

Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML

#19099160
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23138) - you deserved it (6536)

On 02/17/2012 at 8:25am - misc - by BOOP - United States (Montana)

Today, I started speaking gibberish in the middle of the conversation with my mom to see if she would notice. She didn't. FML

#19088881
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19772) - you deserved it (2297)

On 02/15/2012 at 8:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the only card I got for Valentine's Day was in my mother's handwriting, and she posted it through the front door herself. She still won't admit it's from her. FML

#19072071
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19249) - you deserved it (2211)

On 02/14/2012 at 6:56am - love - by ThanksMum (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to take a dump out of a second-story window is a very bad idea. FML

#19069104
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4904) - you deserved it (33109)

On 02/13/2012 at 9:55pm - misc - by michael (man) - United States

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

#19059244
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9310) - you deserved it (71949)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

#19059244
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9310) - you deserved it (71949)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States

Today, I had to call AAA for the fifth time in two months. When the driver got out, I instantly recognized him. It was the same guy who helped me out all the previous occasions. When he saw me, he snorted and doubled over laughing. FML

#19048671
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18955) - you deserved it (5201)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:35pm - misc - by big steve (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19439) - you deserved it (1824)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

#19042299
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6827) - you deserved it (48509)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States

Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML

#19033421
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25521) - you deserved it (5200)

On 02/09/2012 at 10:17am - love - by Zoey (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to pee in the kitchen sink because my bathroom is being completely revamped, and the only other toilet in the house is my parents'. They refuse to let anyone use it. FML

#19032094
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22975) - you deserved it (2317)

On 02/09/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by Falcon - United States (Arizona)



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