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sandratran

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sandratran

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  • Number of visits : 122
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sandratran's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64629) - you deserved it (5954)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39163) - you deserved it (10346)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

#20514612
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34347) - you deserved it (4673)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28493) - you deserved it (5995)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML

#20495428
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30580) - you deserved it (32433)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

#20492744
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27667) - you deserved it (3200)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28772) - you deserved it (3155)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML

#20455481
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27559) - you deserved it (4567)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I realized something: when other people are drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML

#20429355
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16984) - you deserved it (28503)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:30am - misc - by almostkilledmyself - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I set up a spy cam in my room to find out which one of my pervy brothers has been using my computer to watch porn. Turns out it was actually my father. I now have a video of him sitting in my chair masturbating, and I can't get it out of my head. FML

#20427916
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43562) - you deserved it (10723)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

#20193303
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23870) - you deserved it (4625)

On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States

Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML

#20186785
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8109) - you deserved it (24339)

On 12/01/2012 at 3:21pm - health - by fieldmarshalclitter (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML

#20186465
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42940) - you deserved it (6709)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States

Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

#20184636
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31844) - you deserved it (8983)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)



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