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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20927) - you deserved it (5145)
On 01/04/2010 at 1:43am - health - by sadface (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6759) - you deserved it (33419)
On 12/17/2009 at 4:58am - animals - by AnRom (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13538) - you deserved it (20486)
On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53551) - you deserved it (5831)
On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States
Today, I realized that I am dating a 25 year old man-child. He turns 13 whenever he sees my boobs, complete with big eyes and saying "honk honk" whenever he touches them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27779) - you deserved it (7888)
On 11/28/2009 at 11:17am - love - by moon_paw (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61675) - you deserved it (9228)
On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was watching Pokémon with my daughter when she told me that I reminded her of her favorite Pokémon. Feeling good about it, I asked which one. She pointed to the screen and said "Snorlax!" The fat and lazy one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22938) - you deserved it (5710)
On 11/15/2009 at 8:45am - kids - by dessaye (woman) - Singapore
Today, I was putting my contacts in when my daughter decided to jump on me from behind to scare me, causing me to poke myself in the eye. I'm now wearing an eye patch due to a scratched cornea while my daughter is singing some song titled "You are a pirate". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24098) - you deserved it (2043)
On 11/13/2009 at 5:06am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, my credit card number was stolen. The thief used it to purchase identity theft protection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27007) - you deserved it (1673)
On 11/10/2009 at 8:17pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my credit card number was stolen. The thief used it to purchase identity theft protection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27007) - you deserved it (1673)
On 11/10/2009 at 8:17pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I saw an adorable girl at the bar and I went to talk to her. I decided to use my cheesiest pick up line to make her laugh. After I said it, she knew who I was. It was my cousin I hadn't seen in 8 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21098) - you deserved it (10743)
On 11/10/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by Dummy - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was walking through the store when I saw a little boy point to me and say something to his mom. I was out of earshot at the time, but I got close enough just in time to hear the mom reply, "God says we have to love everyone, even if they're ugly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23679) - you deserved it (228)
On 11/08/2009 at 8:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was acting as Prince Charming for a 5 year old's birthday party. After my scene at the ball, the narrator asked the kids, "Was the Prince handsome?" and they all replied with a chorus of "Nooooo!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23811) - you deserved it (2635)
On 11/07/2009 at 5:12am - work - by prince-charming (man) - Kuwait
Today, I arranged the food on my plate in a smiley face to try and make myself feel better. I'm a 38 year old man. It worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23273) - you deserved it (4084)
On 11/06/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, while walking to work, I accidentally dropped my $400 cell phone on the sidewalk. The screen shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the ruined phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" She laughed and kept walking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27772) - you deserved it (14797)
On 11/04/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by Cellismasher (woman) - United States (New York)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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