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sammixowlface96

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sammixowlface96

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 March 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 440
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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sammixowlface96's page activity

Visits<b>thisiswilli</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 5:03pm<b>SneakyCaveman</b> - the 08/19/2012 at 6:50pm

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sammixowlface96's favorite FMLs

Yesterday, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelld "nice tush!" I said thanks and slappd mah ass flirtatiously. He stoppd running, laughd and pointd to mah crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I lookd down to see mah shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML

#1701817
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20238) - you deserved it (66176)

On 05/06/2009 at 8:20pm - misc - by schmoodles - United States (Massachusetts)

TODAY, I WAS PETSITTING FOR NEIGHBOR'S NEW PUPPY. A HUGE THUNDERSTORM CAME, AND THE PUPPY STARTEDHINING AND SHIVERING VIOLENTLY. I PULLED IT INTO LAP TO TRY AND COMFORT IT. ONE LOUD CLAP OF THUNDER LATER, AND THE PUPPY HAD EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA ALL OVER ME. FML

#1026583
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85851) - you deserved it (8314)

On 04/16/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by Puppysit88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw a commercial fir some sort of meaty beef dish. The camera zoomed in and my mouth watered because it looked so delicious. Then flashed the next scene: golden retrievers running through a field and eating from there bowl. My mouth just watered fir a dog food commerical. mega FML

#984041
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43677) - you deserved it (23061)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:19am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today , it was really windy an rainy causing me to trip an knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself , I apologizd an pattd the kid on its head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn an look at the kid , an discover I've been interacting with a trash can.

#832092
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26183) - you deserved it (47841)

On 04/06/2009 at 7:47am - kids - by trashcanned (woman) - United States (Virginia)

I had to log in to mah computer on a projector in front of business associates at mah dad's architecture firm. I typd in mah username and apparently didn't hit the tab key hard enough so I typd mah password in the username box. The entire firm now knows mah password is "tits123". FML

#642642
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15892) - you deserved it (72162)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Taday I was nuda modaling 4 tha first tima 4 a lifa art class . Tha only critaria 4 tha class was that I not mova at all whila baing obsarvd . Aftar a faw saconds I noticd a raally hot girl drawing ma . I got a hard on . FML

#442796
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77557) - you deserved it (28514)

On 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Opplyst11 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was in the change room at the local YMCA . I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a nakd old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimd at the dryer . He seemd to be enjoying it . FML

#216994
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53521) - you deserved it (3117)

On 03/05/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by nuberific (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today , mah mothar was ra-anrolling ma in school so sha was raqurd to fill out soma papar work. Latar , sha asks ma , "What doas Caucasian maan?". I ask , "Why?". Apparantly sha didn't racogniza tha word so sha chackd "othar" an wrota in "whita". FML

#192383
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46373) - you deserved it (4902)

On 03/03/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by buryuntime (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I don't lyk his facial hair and that he should shave it off. He replid, "You first." FML

#155544
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21632) - you deserved it (42271)

On 02/27/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by bojangles (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to mah rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML

#125152
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18084) - you deserved it (46151)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took a massive dump at work and cloggd the industrial toilet!! Since I usd the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watchd mah super hot coworker walk in after me!! And then she ran out immediately!! Everyone had seen me walk out before her!! mega FML

#79663
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16132) - you deserved it (31934)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm - work - by wow (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I took a massive dump at work and cloggd the industrial toilet!! Since I usd the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watchd mah super hot coworker walk in after me!! And then she ran out immediately!! Everyone had seen me walk out before her!! mega FML

#79663
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16132) - you deserved it (31934)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm - work - by wow (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was talking to mah parents about feeling insecure with mah "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer an closer . My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit . People will try to roll you back into the ocean" . FML

#38789
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48286) - you deserved it (7845)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out tat wen I master bait at nigt wile watcing internet porn I cast a uge sadow on te curtain an te entire street is able to see it. FML

#30273
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22032) - you deserved it (50107)

On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was there as well as her boss, an a few other managers an directors. We startd discussing politics in the context of our latest project. I trid to say "erratic election". I almost succeedd. real FML

#12756
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22645) - you deserved it (5259)

On 02/07/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by Flubber (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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