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samiel1989

Offline (the 02/09/2015 at 3:31pm) | Search for a member

samiel1989

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2065
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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samiel1989's page activity

Visits<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:15pm<b>jizzwold</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 4:28pm<b>jarrettd</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 5:04pm<b>Tuffay</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 7:58am<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 7:23pm<b>imagineit</b> - the 03/28/2013 at 10:46am<b>TwentyFourXXIV</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 8:33am<b>IAMVINCE</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 2:47pm<b>TML329</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 7:26pm

samiel1989's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of samiel1989's badges

samiel1989's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find two letters from a publishing house that I'd submitted my manuscript to. The first was congratulatory, stating that my book had been accepted for publishing. The second was apologetic, stating that the first letter had been intended for someone else. FML

#20479103
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32141) - you deserved it (1973)

On 01/26/2013 at 1:14am - work - by strugglingartist (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

#20479072
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33012) - you deserved it (3174)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:53am - animals - by Ear Invasion - United States (New Mexico)

Today, while reading in the bath, I accidentally switched the shower on. Not wanting my book to get soaked, I threw it out of the tub. When I got out of the tub later, I found it had landed squarely in the toilet. FML

#20479000
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27421) - you deserved it (11378)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by stelssy (woman) - United States

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

#20478409
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37459) - you deserved it (5447)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML

#20478247
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35280) - you deserved it (3863)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was suffering from an asthma attack, so I grabbed my inhaler and took a puff. This was probably very disturbing for the earwig which had somehow made my puffer its home, as I discovered when it shot into my mouth. FML

#20477568
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30192) - you deserved it (2466)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:30am - health - by asthmattack (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

#20477055
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25189) - you deserved it (48288)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I learned my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap, which is like a long strip of bandage. I learned this when she tried to pass it in the yard today, and could only do so with my help. It seemed to never end. FML

#20477009
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26670) - you deserved it (2617)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

#20475894
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16709) - you deserved it (29962)

On 01/24/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by steven - United States (California)

Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML

#20472782
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31957) - you deserved it (5131)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:39am - kids - by dani0810 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, months into supporting my mum with her part time cleaning job by cooking dinner for my large family after university, I found out that she doesn't actually have a job, she just leaves the house for a few hours because she doesn't want to cook dinner. FML

#20470602
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31110) - you deserved it (2388)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:03am - work - by CollegeChef (woman) - Australia

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

#20467584
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46135) - you deserved it (7292)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I found out that my home-made pasta sauce had a weird taste to it because my basil patch in the backyard has become my dog's preferred spot to pee. FML

#20467403
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31803) - you deserved it (6734)

On 01/19/2013 at 2:40am - animals - by damnthedog (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36535) - you deserved it (3555)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML

#20466682
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39636) - you deserved it (2708)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:18pm - misc - by mel (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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