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samiel1989

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samiel1989
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 890
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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samiel1989's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of samiel1989's badges

samiel1989's favorite FMLs

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

#20618481
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55400) - you deserved it (12352)

On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72292) - you deserved it (3137)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31110) - you deserved it (105794)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML

#20579905
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30234) - you deserved it (6122)

On 04/07/2013 at 9:47pm - health - by poopy pants - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my cat learned the hard way what the bathtub is for. While I was in it. FML

#20560819
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29822) - you deserved it (3440)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:22am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it, it had a virus on it, and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML

#20559514
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32864) - you deserved it (5171)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by grossed out - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31974) - you deserved it (4330)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my guinea pig was resting on my shoulder. However, I forgot to tie my hair up and she gnawed off a clump of it that was a good 6 inches long. I had to fight her to get it out of her mouth. FML

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27278) - you deserved it (5311)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking for them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out and threw soccer balls in my face. FML

#20556944
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36017) - you deserved it (4547)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist. I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality. FML

#20553373
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43961) - you deserved it (5744)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:25am - misc - by me (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I learned that if not for my grandfather gifting my dad $200, I would have been named Anthrax. FML

#20552804
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30317) - you deserved it (2355)

On 03/20/2013 at 9:11pm - misc - by cheeseburglar_9000 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, an attractive guy came up to me and told me that I looked sexy in a picture online. He then asked himself why he had never asked me out before. Apparently, he doesn't remember our 6-month relationship, or how it ended when he slept with my sister. FML

#20548927
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41278) - you deserved it (2979)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:28am - love - by mcds2 (woman) - United States

Today, at work, I walked in on a disoriented elderly woman eating nachos and cheese off the bathroom floor. She wasn't wearing any pants. FML

#20548521
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30613) - you deserved it (2609)

On 03/17/2013 at 11:14pm - work - by Ihatemyjob (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML

#20547294
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26461) - you deserved it (47552)

On 03/17/2013 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Cliché... or Touché? -



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