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samiel1989

Offline (the 02/09/2015 at 3:31pm) | Search for a member

samiel1989

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2054
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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samiel1989's page activity

Visits<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:15pm<b>jizzwold</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 4:28pm<b>jarrettd</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 5:04pm<b>Tuffay</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 7:58am<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 7:23pm<b>imagineit</b> - the 03/28/2013 at 10:46am<b>TwentyFourXXIV</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 8:33am<b>IAMVINCE</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 2:47pm<b>TML329</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 7:26pm

samiel1989's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of samiel1989's badges

samiel1989's favorite FMLs

Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

#20721670
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37658) - you deserved it (68408)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

#20668913
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48005) - you deserved it (3369)

On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned if you type my full name in Google Images, the 3rd thing that comes up is a naked woman in ropes. Someone on Pornhub thought it was smart to comment that the girl looks just like me. She does. Now my parents think I'm a porn star, and most people at school stopped talking to me. FML

#20662282
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65513) - you deserved it (5137)

On 05/14/2013 at 12:15am - intimacy - by magomag (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML

#20655660
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89053) - you deserved it (5637)

On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, my water broke while my boyfriend was breaking up with me. FML

#20649270
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73712) - you deserved it (6560)

On 05/08/2013 at 1:41am - health - by Carrie - United States (California)

Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML

#20647961
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45686) - you deserved it (5929)

On 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML

#20647398
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49003) - you deserved it (8932)

On 05/07/2013 at 8:48am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my ex won a writing competition. His story was inspired by our relationship. In it, I'm a serial killing prostitute. FML

#20647234
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49135) - you deserved it (7620)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:45am - love - by serialkillingex (man) - Netherlands

Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML

#20634924
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28491) - you deserved it (55124)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML

#20624720
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49999) - you deserved it (4709)

On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

#20618481
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56999) - you deserved it (12767)

On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83162) - you deserved it (4349)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32835) - you deserved it (112810)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML

#20579905
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36610) - you deserved it (8229)

On 04/07/2013 at 9:47pm - health - by poopy pants - United States (Minnesota)



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