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samiel1989

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samiel1989
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 172
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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samiel1989's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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samiel1989's favorite FMLs

Today, my kids surprised me when I got home. One of them played the Rocky theme song on the stereo, and the other came up to me and said, "Daddy, let's go. We need you to drop about 15 pounds before you appear in front of all of our friends at our play." FML

#11980877
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22793) - you deserved it (5777)

On 07/19/2010 at 9:59am - kids - by Cody (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML

#11966338
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23263) - you deserved it (13508)

On 07/18/2010 at 5:47pm - misc - by anonmys - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Doubting our relationship, I asked him seriously if he loved me. He looked thoughtful, gathered me in his arms and said, "If I say yes, will you be less pissed?" and then tried to stick his hand down my pants. FML

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

#9721953
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20529) - you deserved it (50212)

On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41554) - you deserved it (7654)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)

Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML

#9134827
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6870) - you deserved it (25352)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by splitzville (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend offered to give me a piggyback ride from the house to the car as means of avoiding walking in mud. Both aware of how tall he is, he crouched extra low and I jumped extra hard. This makes for a terrible example of leapfrog, and a faceplant in the mud. FML

#9087167
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14055) - you deserved it (6282)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

#9019177
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22725) - you deserved it (5100)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML

#8938821
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16811) - you deserved it (15776)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while trying to pull a nail out of some wood with a crowbar in my theatre class, my girlfriend, who was holding down the wood with her foot, thought it would be funny to move her foot and make me lose my balance. Instead, the crowbar flew up and struck me in the nuts. FML

#8794637
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17853) - you deserved it (2147)

On 03/03/2010 at 6:13am - misc - by ouch... (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I opened my closet to get my uniform to get ready for work, and found the cat my step-mom was looking for the night before. Apparently, it snuck in there and was too stupid to miaow to be let out, but had no problem pissing all over all my stuff. FML

#8741941
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15567) - you deserved it (1957)

On 03/01/2010 at 3:30am - animals - by mav3rick91 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML

#8557043
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22053) - you deserved it (1857)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:13pm - misc - by condiments - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I discovered that when business is slow at my family-owned store, my daughter and another employee make a habit of sneaking away to the back room. I have literally been paying this kid to screw around with my daughter. FML

#8446049
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23720) - you deserved it (3611)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:36pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I brought my new girlfriend over to show off to my family when my senile great-grandmother walked into the room wearing nothing but her underpants asking when the Olympics come on. FML

#8366162
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17862) - you deserved it (1658)

On 02/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by unfortunate419 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML



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